Huh. I always thought Dr. Phil was the absolute worse "psychologist," but I was wrong. What a disgusting piece of slime (apologies to slime—you're really much better than that.)

I would think that food would dribble out when he chews, unless he eats mashed-up things like baby food that he can swallow without chewing.

I said that mostly because Oprah has a lot more money than Amanda Palmer. So maybe not worse in other ways, but definitely way more stingy. Also Oprah is more business-oriented, so she should be well aware of the money-for-goods-and-services idea. Oprah is very public about buying luxury goods, which in my mind makes…

God, Oprah, you're worse than Amanda Palmer. Just pay the performers, okay? It's not a difficult concept—they provide a service, you pay them. I'm not sure why this seems to be a problem for people. I don't go to the grocery store and expect to walk out the door with my food without paying them. This is no different.

Jenny McCarthy is doing a reality show.

I would like the Cake Filled with a Million Dollars, please. I would make it myself but I'm totally out of cake flour. Thanks!

You can never go wrong with a snood. I would love to wear a snood, but my hair is not right for snooding.

I need to try the whiskey. I thought brownies wanted a saucer of milk, but apparently today's brownies are more sophisticated. I hope mine aren't too picky about whiskey because it's going to be the cheap stuff. Maybe they'll bring back my favorite earring that I lost when I moved.

Or brownies. I'm not sure if we have brownies in the US. That might be a Scottish thing.

It's good to have a helpful ghost. I used to have a ghost (until I moved, and it doesn't seem to have followed me. It (she?) used to steal my remotes. I lost several remotes while I lived there, and I never found them—not down the back of the couch, not under anything, just completely gone. They were fine as long as I…

Cher is strangely coherent today. Did someone hack her twitter account?

I miss her too. Especially around election time. I would've loved to hear what she had to say about Sarah Palin. I still think of Rick Perry as "Goodhair."

It would help to be a little bit drunk when you went to work every day.

That just looks really cheap and sad. Full disclosure, I wouldn't like it if it was better quality, but it doesn't help that it looks like it's poorly made. It's a strapless shapewear bra grafted onto a high-waisted skirt and it doesn't even fit well. Come on, Hilary, you can do better!

There's a lot of stupid in that one sentence.

trashy American reboot of Rashomon

She probably also made him kneel to pee in the toilet. If he was allowed to pee at all. Maybe he just had to hold it in the whole time he was married to her.

I hope the end result of this is that Conflict Kitchen gets a lot more business because they're in the news. I love the idea. I'm too far away to go there, but it would be awesome if restaurants like this were in more places.

I will not lie. I want one of these. Or both. Sure, I'll take two. Where's the nearest Bergdorf Goodman?

Awww. I could say exactly the same thing about Mosby, who was the cutest rabbit on earth but had an evil streak a mile wide. I miss that little fuzzbutt.