Is that glitter? I thought it was scratches or cuts. Apparently red is not the best color for body glitter.

This is the first time ever Dr. Ruth has been in favor of people being dressed. Usually her tweets inevitably end in solving any problem by having sex. We could solve all the world's problems if people would just have more sex!

And a little bit of lipstick.

That outfit is NUTS. Boxer shorts under a lace shirtdress with pilgrim shoes. I think if you're going to wear pilgrim shoes, you should go all the way and wear the pilgrim hat, but maybe he did and he left it in the coat check on his way in.

So, theoretically, you could build a house out of wombat poop. Someone has probably already done this, right?

Gods, yes, I need a nap room! That would be the best thing ever. I need to teach myself to nap and work at the same time, and then I can work for Pinterest and nap all the time and life will be perfect.

I want to work there. Right now. Pantone chairs? Are you kidding me? And those heirloom tomatoes? Tomato sandwiches for lunch!! I don't care how twee the tomatoes are, tomato sandwiches are the best summer food ever! I bet they even have a garden out back. If I wasn't on the other side of the country, I'd be…

Mint is good. Always eat the mint. It tastes good and it freshens your breath!

I hadn't heard about that. If she did say that, it was a really stupid thing to say. She's a celebrity, of course people are going to believe the idiotic garbage that spews out of her mouth. What else does she think is going to happen?

Mark Wahlberg is wise to stay as far away as he can from that trainwreck. You think it's bad arguing with your ignorant relatives about the latest vaccine-related stupidity from Jenny McCarthy—it would be so much worse if she was the one sitting at the table at Thanksgiving ranting on about how vaccination is evil.…

The photo of the Ikea item has been replaced with a painting containing a similar item. Hint: the first one is a ladder. It's probably the hardest one to figure out. By the time you get to the red pillow, it's a little more obvious.

It's not you. It was really stupid. The short version: vapid celebrity couldn't tell the difference between having a birthday and getting stung by bees. I'm not sure what the colored sprinkles are all about. I think we need more context to figure that out.

I hope he's blacklisted from everywhere. I don't understand people who think it's okay to be so nasty to someone he doesn't even know. What an ass.

So jealous! But we have mimosa trees, so that kind of makes up for the lack of cheap maple products.

I'm not tough enough for that. I'll just have to keep buying my overpriced maple candy at the store.

I want to live where you live. Maple candy around here is rare and expensive.

It's a good feeling, isn't it? There's nothing like surprise maple candy! I'm going to be nice and share the last piece with my mom so we can all be happy.

I just remembered I have a chunk of maple candy that I completely forgot about. I don't even know how that could happen.

Here's a pattern for the poodle bottle covers: https://sites.google.com/site/hbmprinta…

My great-aunts used to make things like this. Also: poodles crocheted around glass bottles, purses that convert to doll cradles made out of the bottom of a plastic bottle cut off and crocheted onto, and dolls made out of dish detergent bottles.