That is exactly what I would call it. The people who work at Subway should be used to that.

When I get a torch, you can come over to my house and we'll scorch lots of things. I'm clumsy too, so I'm sure many random things will get burned accidentally, but as long as the house doesn't burn down I'm okay with that.

I'm having a hard time with this concept of being forbidden to own a kitchen torch. It would be much safer to make s'mores that way. Also there's so many other awesome things you can do with them. I want one.

You have made me a very happy person! I need to start pinning otters. I knew there was something missing in my life.

I may need to watch this again. For...research purposes, yeah, that's it, research.

I am dying. I am dead. You just killed me with the cuteness!

It looks like she drew them in with a Sharpie.

Wow. This could be life-changing.

I also like #9. I can't decide if these are joking or serious. I think some of both.

3. "How to Give Passive Aggressive Gifts for Christmas"

I like this. I would be quite pleased if people didn't pay much attention to their wedding. But I'm not underestimating the entertainment value of a ridiculous, over-the-top, ego-drenched multi-day, cross-continental marriage spree.

He doesn't look young. He looks like he's had lots of plastic surgery. Sorry, Pat, you're no Dorian Gray.

Applause for recycling—it takes a lot of plastic grocery bags to make a dress that long!

Also, it's creased and it doesn't fit right. You'd think it would be perfect for the Met Ball.

How cute. Avril Lavigne thinks she's somebody important.

He's like a shark—all teeth, with cruel, emotionless little black eyes.

Taylor Swift doesn't really have friends. She has playdates.

Are you sure he doesn't have his cheeks stuffed full of Cheerios like a hamster?

Nice. I hope she chokes on a piece of cake.

When I was growing up, we drank milk every day. Raw, unhomogenized milk, straight from the Mennonite dairy down the road. We skimmed the cream off the milk and made butter, which I would devour on hot slices of home-baked bread. The crusty end of the loaf was always my favorite.