It's more likely she'll end up working as a cashier at Walmart. She'd look pretty good in that blue smock.

The other children are probably not treated like this. Sometimes there's one scapegoat for the family and the others are treated more normally.

I don't usually cry very easily, but this is really getting to me. I don't want to read news stories like this, but it's important for people to know that this is happening.

He deserves all of the medals. He's so brave. I wish him all the good things in the world. I hope all of these get away from this family and find good homes where they'll be loved and hugged and well-fed.

From now on, I'll always think of capers as funny-tasting peas.

I would pay money to hear those stories. Seriously, actual money. Does he take Paypal?

Here's an explanation:

Apparently mute isn't okay either. I can't keep up with what every group of people prefers to be called, so I'm just going to have to accept that I'll offend someone unintentionally. It's just hard to know when you're not part of that group. You don't find out they don't like it until someone gets offended. It's extra…

Because she unleashed the horror that is "Call Me Maybe" on the world. I will never forgive her for that.

The video isn't on the freeway and my comment didn't mention the freeway either.

I'm not sure why you're bringing the freeway into this. I think you're in the wrong place for bitching about traffic on the freeway. You must have taken a wrong turn at Jalopnik and wandered into Jezebel by mistake.

You make a lot of assumptions. This has happened to me when I was driving in the right lane. I don't drive in the left lane unless I'm passing or turning. If you think people should die because they're inconveniencing you a tiny bit, you have serious problems.

You have a very good point, but some people are too stupid to figure that out. I love being tailgated when there's an open lane right next to me where they could pass. I think some people like getting all worked up and angry. It brings a little color to their dull, gray lives.

I never saw it, and I feel like my life is empty and meaningless. I wonder where Bat Boy is now...probably hanging out with Elvis at a diner in the middle of the desert.

The world needs more Bat Boy! Remember how Bay Boy was in love with Jenna Bush? Those were the golden years.

It's either child trafficking or her mother didn't want to be bothered with her. Either way, it's horrible and I hope they find her.

And toast. I love hot toast with butter more than almost anything else in the world.

Because the anti-abortion people make up lies about Planned Parenthood, like how they try to start in on children when they're very young to indoctrinate them into getting abortions and all kinds of other bullshit. Also, because some people think abortion is the only issue that matters.

Do you even know what a rat is?

I have recently acquired a recipe for a microwave chocolate chip cookie. It's too much power. I'm not sure I can handle it.