If they're done right, bagel dogs are awesome. I was so sad when the bagel dog restaurant closed. I miss bagel dogs, but probably not enough to eat the soggy school lunch bagel dog.

There's a pretty big difference between 16 and 13. And these men do at least realize that what they're doing is not right. People say a lot of stupid things on the internet, but that doesn't mean they're going to go out and force themselves on 13-year-old (or even 16-year-old) girls. It does happen, but my point is…

That is really disgusting. First of all, the correct word is "rape." When it involves a 13-year-old, it is always rape. Second, most adult men do not want to rape 13-year-old girls. It's really not a common thing.

She was dead, but she's feeling much better now!

Apparently the Italian justice system hasn't changed much in the past 800 years.

I hope not. I don't think anyone really hates her that much. She's more like a pimple on your butt—very uncomfortable and irritating, but it doesn't require major surgery.

I don't believe this, because why would anyone want to kidnap Michaele Salahi? Most of the world just wants her to go away.

I want this. I'd program it for: Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan and her kin, anyone remotely connected to the Gosselin clan, Rachael Ray, the Kardashians, Michelle Bachman, and all Toyota or Direct Insurance ads.

I would join the lockpicking club so fast it would make your head spin!

So you can't hide anything, next the tank top will have to come off. Later, you will also have to remove your pants. I hope they at least let us keep our undies, but I'm not counting on it.

According to my doctor, I should be eating tasteless sticks and twigs instead of food that actually tastes like food. I told her I sometimes eat cottage cheese and whole grain crackers for lunch. That wasn't good enough—she wants me to eat cottage cheese with an apple, no crackers. I'm eating fucking cottage cheese.…

Too much Missoni makes my head hurt. It also gives me flashbacks to bad 70s fabric and bargello needlepoint (yes, I'm old).

Could they possibly be any more disgusting? I don't know, but I'm sure they'll try.

Synchronicity!

So, I was reading that last bit a little fast, and I thought it said "Skeez Couture."

She does, like, use the word "like," like, a lot. It's so, like, 80s. Totally.

It would warm my bitter little heart if La Palin had a heart attack from eating too much greasy, nasty carnival food at the fair. Maybe she'll just keel over, right in the middle of the midway, clutching a deep-fried taco on a stick in one hand and a jumbo-sized bag of deep-fried oreos in the other. Bon appetit!

What happened to getting a job and paying for your own apartment? Is that out of style now?

Does this remind anyone of when George Bush refused to eat broccoli? What do Republicans have against vegetables? There's nothing wrong with eating a few vegetables in between plates of deep-fried, fat-soaked unidentifiable dough balls. Look on the bright side—with her mouth stuffed full of deep-fried pickles, Sarah…

Super sticky post-its! Seriously, they're awesome. I love super sticky post-its.