Pink Impersonator and Jedward must go to the same hairstylist. I think I've seen that hairstyle before. In a cartoon, maybe.

She usually wears lipstick that matches her clothes. Maybe she couldn't find the right shade of blue and silver.

And I thought Sandra Lee was bad! As an antidote to this, check out Fancy Fast Food ([www.fancyfastfood.com] It probably still tastes nasty, but it looks good!

Buh-bye! I think he should be forced to wear a shirt that says "Racist Moron." I'm sure most people would figure it out really quickly, but I'd hate for anyone to have to waste their time talking to him before they realize what disgusting scum he really is.

This is the most bad logic I've ever seen in one place. Dumbass.

Applause! That was excellent!

Plastic underwear is only appropriate for Barbie dolls. What kind of twisted mind would think this is a good idea? Also, how would you clean it? It's worse than the self-adhesive underwear (I think—it depends on how strong the adhesive is and how much it hurts when you pull it off).

I think Ann Curry has some serious blackmail material on some very influential people.

I wonder how many empty bottles of wine are scattered across the floor of Kathie Lee's dressing room. Counting them would be like trying to count the stars in the sky.

Andy Dick's fate is to die of an overdose in a seedy motel. I'm surprised it hasn't happened already.

Has anyone done a statistical analysis of how many "engagement chickens" have actually resulted in engagements? I imagine there are also many engagement chickens that have led to breakups, but nobody talks about the dark side of engagement chickens.

Obviously. She is a grown-up mean girl. And also so she can use really bad fake accents, and people can't tell her to just stop, because it's her show and she can do whatever she wants.

I guess I don't have the perfect life. I have a big ass, only one car, and I never fly anywhere.

Me too. Mostly because of Gwyneth. Her face looks like a mummy, and it's kind of creepy. The makeup people must not like her very much.

What's next? Is she going to run for President? Climb Mount Everest? Start the next Facebook? Her quest for world domination will never end!

If he thinks she's curvy, I have to wonder if he goes around taking photos of sticks.

She would dress them both in dresses that match the cocktail, with cute little 50s-style aprons. They would say "Here is your drink, semi-mother," in unison, like pod-people from a sci-fi B-movie.

Truly amazing! But remember, she also didn't realize that the cake, in addition to being non-kosher, is horrendous. I think she must be suffering from a case of terminal cluelessness (possibly due to ingesting too many cocktails with an odd assortment of ingredients, mainly chosen to match the color of the tablescape…

Seriously? That's disgusting!

Yeah, this makes her seem like a slacker. One at a time? That's lazy!