It looks like he’s still in charge of handling the Redskins cap to me.

Stevens: Isaiah, I think using some small ball in the second half can really help you out there.

If he wants the Browns to take him in the first round, I think Johnny Manziel proved that pounding two 40 oz’s before weigh in certainly won’t hurt your chances.

Plus, how the hell are they going to run up and down the sidelines with high heels on?

Wilson also told Fox 5 San Diego that there is no grass to be damaged, because it was all ripped up for a monster truck rally.

Ranadive: Hey DeMarcus, what do you think about a trade for Buddy Hield?

To be fair, the situation turned into a total windfall for her now that she’s collecting unemployment.

That’s a real knock on the Royals farm system.

Jerry: Who taught you how to do this stuff?!

Dolan was just looking for a way to free up some salary cap space.

Damn, I would have expected him to dominate any competition where you score by hitting nothing but net.

Her opponent later admitted that it was the longest he ever lasted with a girl.

To be fair, it’s not like the bear was out there on the court completely defenseless. That was James Harden.

Rex: I took your advice doc, but I just don’t think the wraps are working for me.

Cardinals GM: [dials up Astros GM] Looks like we have to send you a couple of draft picks, do you want to make those selections yourself or should we just work off the list that we have?

To help avoid this type of situation the NFL was considering changing the Pro Bowl to flag football, but didn’t want to take the risk of having to watch Colin Kaepernick kneeling the entire clock out.

C’mon guys. He’s just laying out his case for the Hall of Fame. Hopefully Deadspin will take these tweets under consideration when they vote.

York: Tell me John, what most interests you in a job with the 49ers?

Yeah, and if you don’t like what they write you can just get them expelled.

To be fair, I don’t think Trump was referring to Langer when he said “that German guy had some interesting thoughts.”