Mark Sanchez: That’s bullshit! Coach said he cut me because he didn’t want to see me poise in his offense.

Tebow: It’s always been my dream to play in the major leagues. What do you think?

Eh, I'm sure when the big moment comes the Seahawks will probably pass.

If Ravens coaches were allowed more control over players’ lives there’s a chance they could have saved that one guy’s life. But that’s a lot to ask of a coach to go out and party with Ray Lewis every night.

I can believe it. Any time I think I might be looking at sex it usually turns out that I’m watching my wife read a book.

Swimmer: How do I get into the bathroom?

That’s certainly one way to face a hurdle.

This helps explain why the Olympic pool smells like one of their ovens.

....

That fart smell probably came from a former tight end, Algae Crumpler.

If impersonating an Olympic runner is against the rules then how come Lolo Jones never got busted?

More like water polio, amirite??

If Puig keeps up this pace it shouldn’t be long before we see him in AA.

Give them a break. The Olympics are doing their best to make sure that any exposed skin found underwater stays covered in bacteria.

I’m sure Brian Kelly can really appreciate a business that doesn’t pay their talent.

Damn, I really hope Allen Iverson had flood insurance.

Michael: “People love J.J. Watt, but they don’t really like J.J. Watt, know what I’m saying?”

No surprise here. In Asia most dogs end up being really good sliders.

Easily replaces Durant as the Warriors most offensive offseason addition.

Jets fans were convinced that there was no way they’d have to watch him throw passes to another team this year. I’m glad he proved them wrong.