“I’ll have a cheeseburger, Frenchfries, and the ice cream sundae... Oh, and a vanilla milkshake.”

We get it Vin. You did a lot of coke in your day.

Hard to believe that there were some shots fired last night by a Laker that wasn’t Kobe.

Officer: Sir, if you haven’t been drinking then why can’t you take a step without falling over?

I really have to commend the staff at Jezebel for their input today. I’ve always said that the one thing that Deadspin’s readers have been completely missing out on is a woman’s touch.

Last time I saw that many clumsy white dudes together was on a Jazz draft board.

You think that’s impressive, my grandpa can do number one in his sleep.

I have to side with Jones on this one. If he really did something illegal, how do you explain him still being in the car?

Steve said that boat was the best investment he's ever made.

RGIII: [punts football]

Nice catch.

Nike Exec: Thanks for coming in today Steven.

Looks like A-Rod plans to finish his career with the Yankees the same way Jeter did. By getting paid an enormous amount of money he didn’t earn.

Beltran: [goes to the back of the line for the tenth straight time]

It can just pop up at any time, just randomly. Not because you did something to it, but because it’s there. There’s days when I wake up and I feel fine, and then a week later, it’s kind of stiff.

If you think that's funny, you should see Trump try and palm a basketball.

Smart move for the Patriots. Not only does it give them cap space and offensive line help, but the added draft pick should also give the Pats the flexibility to start cheating again.

I bet Lockette won’t be able to make the reception.

If the Broncos were able to win despite their quarterback play, then Brock should fit right into the Texans system.

That fox has already made more money on the golf course this year than any tiger.