And if you rearrange the features on Darren Rovell's face, it brings satisfaction.

Tip: NONE, FORREST, NONE

If only a good guy with a gun had been there.

Wow. That's decently understandable English. I'm impressed, Alabama.

Well most SEC fans didn't go to any college so he's far ahead of them.

hey man this is Alabama, the 9th grade is consider graduate school.

For a bachelor, every day is Thanksgiving, and Thanksgiving is just a bonus.

Salad doesn't belong on this list, unless it is that congealed jello fruit salad your Grandma has been making every year for the past 40 years. Then, you just pass it off to the dog anyway.

Salad is ranked? I never once have had a Thanksgiving meal where salad was even an option. Those who serve useless stomach-bloating salad at Thanksgiving clearly support terrorism.

I intend to eat Cincinnati Chili tomorrow in protest of Albert Burneko.

Green bean casserole over mashed potatoes? Nice knowing you, Albert!

1. Everything listed below mixed together and covered in gravy

Nothing green should break the top 20.

Eh, buy a pie of your own beforehand, and then WRAP THE SLICES IN AMERICAN CHEESE AND JUMP IN FRONT OF A TRAIN

I can't speak for anybody else, but I think you really have to wait until at least 4:00pm on the previous year's Black Friday.

As much as I'd like to see an inaugural entry into the Foodspin Wing of the DSHOF, I don't think this is worth my vote.

I will give thanks to the cornucopia of riches that will spring forth on a cross-post to Jezebel.

Why bother negotiating? It's not like he'd ever take no for an answer.

Cue the people who don't know how countdowns work in 3...2...1....

Hahahaha that's pretty hilarious. Nice work.