"Can we get a recipe for jarred Mystery Taste Mud next week? That sounds delicious!"
-Cincinnati

What am I supposed to do with this gallon of white vinegar you made me buy?
.

Enough with Kluwe already.

Adderal

To be fair, NYC has hated JR Smith since the playoffs began last spring.

"My client clearly does not have the required skillset to hack Mr. Durant's phone. Furthermore, JR Smith was in full view of 19 thousand people at the time this hack happened, he was on the bench the entire game."
-Leon Rose

Rob Ford was watching from a second story window.

Alright NHL, if you move all your games outside in the snow I will consider watching you again...maybe

Carmelo's New Year's Resolution was to be more aggressive on D...

New York has been getting screwed all season, every sport and we don't get unfucked until next year's Jets team, at the earliest.

I took it a step further and trolled my family throughout the holiday season. Bragged about how I started a new diet on Dec 1st, stood next to the Xmas cookies but conspicuously didn't eat any, told everyone that I lost 14 pounds already with this one easy trick, etc. This pisses off both the fat slobs and the fitness…

So pointy, Bitey, Apex Pred, lol food webs, stop finning me, Mmmm seals, rolls eyes
- Jaws @DogeGreatWhite

No one should ever dart an eye over anything.

That comedian should do a guest appearance on "Duck Dynasty."

Not in your lifetime, fattie.

Enjoy dying young and morbidly obese out in the flyover states with your "extra" freedom.

It's origins are clearly pagan, it was not even celebrated universally in America until the early 20th century. You're not a very well informed atheist.

'Now, working in a slow drizzle and stirring the whole time, add a cup of warm whole milk to your ragù."

Ahh, Skyline Chili, or as Foodspin prefers to call it, watery shit in a bowl.

Also, some people are allergic to red wine tannins and can only use the white.