Time to roll down to Mar a Lago and cry this one out

Love the fetus; hate the child.

When asked about Putin, Manafort replied:

With these leaks coming out, escalating craziness from the White House, and Trump’s depressed toddler tantrums getting more frequent/intense, I truly believe in a month he’s just going to resort to tweeting “I admit the deed! Tear up the planks! Here, here! It is the beating of his hideous heart!”

Physically, Manafort never really went anywhere: He owns an apartment in Trump Tower.

700 years ago? Are you sure?

At least we know that Donald Trump hates women more than he loves powerful Germans.

I think if your blood is too acidic, you’d be dead.

I think you give him too much credit. He’s more of a Lloyd Henreid.

How did this man not possess the forearm strength to lift himself out of this predictament.

He will be given a proper masturbator’s funeral. His porn collection will be heaped upon him and set ablaze as he sets sail for Valhalla.

Mama Mia! This could be his Waterloo. When he asked the American people “Take A Chance on Me”, they should have known he was in it for the Money, Money, Money. But That’s the Name of the Game when you hire a Dancing Queen to run the show.

We are pretty content with that. Their version of Heaven sounds a bit boring- mostly because their Heaven is closed to animals (no soul, you understand). I aim for Valhalla where I can feast and drink beer and be with my doggies and assorted felines.

I’m in my 40s. We have our rhythm. I also live on the other side of the country :D

Funny thing...my family (who are all born again Christians) have the tact NEVER to say this to me. “Corgis, aren’t you glad you’re here with us and not dead in a dumpster?”

Jared Kushner looks like the perfect, caring fiancé in a L&O SVU episode who is later revealed to have been kidnapping all those brunettes and dressing them up in his late mother’s clothes.

“Donald Trump signed a bill rolling back the Office of Surface Mining’s Stream Protection Rule which prevented coal mining companies from dumping their waste in waterways.”

42 year olds FTW!

Gotta have nipples. Without them, breasts are pointless.