When Dornan is in his natural habitat— creepy Irish Serial Killer— he can act. Of course, it helps to have a strong script and a co-star he clearly doesn’t hate.

I’m paying a mortgage of $650 a month on a 2-bed, 2-bath house with a finished basement on a 3/4 acre lot. It was built in 1941. My husband and I make good money, for here, but we won’t clear 65k.

And most people in that situation DO drop it. And if they get burned out of their house —not unlikely, given the poor state of repair, the frequent use of space heaters, and the fact that it can take 20-30 minutes to get up the holler and there is often no public water system, much less hydrants, they’ll end up…

Actually, no. If you’re living in your grandma’s old house in McDowell County, WV, getting it sold is impossible because no one is moving into the county, no business wants it, and since you own the thing outright you’ve dropped the homeowner’s insurance long ago because the premiums were astronomical due to the high…

I don’t know— for me, it’s a very comforting thought to know that there’s a definite end. A stop. That you’re finally just gone.

You’ll be making West Virginia Great Again! in the process. /s

I don’t get the whole mermaid thing— you’re half fish, so are you cold blooded? Are you white fish or fatty fish? Are you in-demand for sushi? What about the original fairytale, where your tongue gets cut out and you die as ocean foam? What about mermen?

My uterus is retroverted and far off to the left, my cervix is high and my vagina is crooked. I used one for a couple years in my 20s and found it difficult to get in and out and the cup, like tampons, pressed on my urethra and made peeing uncomfortable.

I’ve never watched Gilmore Girls (the whole girly genre gives me hives.) Moose up there will always be Sammy, the sad Wookie. My Dean is this Dean:

Wrong Deadwood Tim. Timothy Omundson (Brom Garrett) was a crazy-hot Cain.

I’m a Dean girl through and through but if Sam showed up in my yoga class he’d get all the adjustments he needed.

She’s my wife! She’s my daughter!

Spanx don’t really have the sweat-dissipation qualities of most compression gear, and they’re not designed to stay put during extreme movements.

I know someone who can fix that:

I’ve taught yoga to people who were clearly, profoundly stoned. They fell over. A lot. It might have been fun for them, but it wasn’t for me.

I have Crohn’s. I get the stress-poops, especially in the mornings. I have a mental map of all public restrooms within a 50-mile radius. Paradoxically, a high-fiber diet slows them down.

Far worse. We knew Bush was dumb and under-qualified, but he’s not a fundamentally terrible human being. He didn’t have any active malice toward swathes of the population. If 9/11 hadn’t happened he would’ve been a mostly unremarkable footnote in history.