I don’t like people in my physical space that I don’t know well. I’m pocket-sized and get picked up and spun around by my good friends, which is fine, but the rest of the world has to settle for fist-bump/sparkle fingers. Little kids love the fist-bump/sparkle fingers.

Seriously, does he not understand the process of discovery? You’d think he’d have some vague grasp given the many times he’s been sued, but maybe Justice flinches away from his clammy paw like ever other woman.

I may or may not have shouted “You da worm face!” at Donald Trump when he was going on his puppet tirade during the debate.

Sam Elliot in extremely tight bell-bottoms and pre-mustache.

The only ghost presences I have ever felt have been these half-asleep departed kitties. And I can tell in the dream just by their little feet which cat it is. It’s just like: “Hey mama, doin’ fine, just gonna nap a bit with ya.”

I experience it if I decide to go back to sleep in the mornings/take an extended afternoon nap. I am always completely aware that it’s sleep paralysis, and my hallucinations nearly always revolve around one of my cats that have passed on curling up on my legs. The ghost cats are soothing. Knowing I’m trying to wake up…

They didn’t know who he was. Once the word “bluegrass” left my mouth, (along with my bitchy eyebrow work) they deflated like they’d dropped their ice cream into a ditch. Basically, anyone that they suspect of being a godless babykilling liberal.

Yeah, the cops aren’t gonna do anything in west-by-god Virginia. There’s a 50-50 chance officer friendly and jimmy-joe asshat are huntin’ buddies or in-laws. They just used public funds to put ‘In god we trust’ on the back of all the cruisers.

God, this. I (a diminutive middle-aged white woman) have been aggressively approached in parking lots by men getting ready to get their hate on over my ‘Dr. Ralph Stanley for President’ bumper sticker.

Every one I’ve ever been in is a hoot— I’ve nearly peed myself because I was laughing so hard. I have a hard time with suspension of disbelief, but haunted houses were totally worth the comedy value.

I’m pretty sure that the Donald has made himself so repulsive even hell hounds won’t bite him.

Have you seen kittens, or puppies, or rabbits or fawns? All of them naturally sleep just fine without parents. After a certain point the kid is torturing you, not the other way around. I had chronic insomnia as a little kid. I stayed in my room and read. Made it through the Bible, Heidi, and the entire Little House…

My friend and I attend a 5- day yoga conference every year, and since we’re stuck at the hotel for at least breakfast and lunch, we split the grocery list and pack:

I’m 42, and after 2-3 Pap smears that left the doc swearing, they finally explained— my uterus is very high, tilted backwards and sitting pretty far to the left. To get a tampon in, I have to insert an inch, pause, and crank it to the left. And it presses uncomfortably on my urethra and makes peeing hard.

Completely off-topic but I adore those shoes. 10/10 would wear with leggings and a boatneck sweater.

If you’re having a lot of problems with the flexibility required in squat— hip flexibility as well as undertrained vastus lateralus and vastus medialus—Lower Cross Syndrome is a pretty common culprit as well.

You mean Eric, the Clown? What kind of name is that for a clown?

No.

Flip flops?

Yes! The all-over salt crust from long bouts of exercise. Everything stings when your turn on the water.