Crohn's — 25-30 times a day, can't get more than 5 feet from the can on those days. I have crapped geysers of blood.

Dirty blonde with an alarming amount of gray— especially in the front. Henna coats the hair and seals the follicle. So if you have highlights, they’ll be brighter or more intense, same with gray. It is relatively transparent, but unlike chemical dye if you don’t get the coverage you want you can re-henna immediately.

I jumped on the henna bandwagon a few months ago, since I’ve been dyeing red for years. I use Lush’s Caca Rouge Henna. It’s easy to mix. It is messy— you’re glooping hot mud on your head and wrapping it in plastic— but mostly it’s time consuming. Set aside 3-4 hours, a bottle of wine, and a netflix series to marathon.…

Crohns for 16 years now. Haven’t actually found a diet that will fix it, though clean eating and high protein help my engel levels the most. But during a flare, I’m eating PB and instant breakfast just to survive. I call it the “not dying in a pool of bloody diarrhea” diet.

Nooooooo. I had to wear these glasses circa 1983 because my prescription was so strong the left lens was a quarter inch thick. No one wore these frames willingly. They weighed a ton and sat crookedly on my face.

Snickers bar, diet Dr. Pepper, Slim Jim(for the protein.) Every day, senior year.

The Latin for it is Pantaloonius Inflammatori, I think.

My cats are indoor-only assholes, but anyone harming them would get a lesson in the five groups of torture.

Exactly. Bonus— I am violently allergic to febreeze, in a uncontrollable sneezing, eye-watering, hive-erupting sort of way. So yes, I can't smell the original odor, because my nose has completely shut down. The best way to deodorize is to clean your damn fabric.

Thank you! Surya Namaskara is, first and foremost, a strength building sequence. (I teach a traditional 108 class every once in awhile. Its not for wimps.) The asanas are a tool to clear the mind and prepare the body for long periods of meditation on whatever you believe. I'm an atheist, not Hindu. I'm not forcing…

I love tubing mascara too! It doesn't sweat off. I can teach multiple classes, drown in my own sweat and snot, but it doesn't move.

I have Naked foundation and BB cream— both are super lightweight, and I use the foundation as concealer then the BB cream on the parts of my face that would normally be exposed to sun. I'm pale blue, basically, so the BB cream does bronzing duty. Set it with the naked loose powder in a shade that's my natural skin and…

Exactly. The pelvic floor muscles are the thickness of 10 sheets of copy paper pre-menopause, and the thickness of 3 sheets post menopause. They are holding your organs inside your body. It’s a good idea to be able to control them and keep them strong, because “pelvic mesh” is not anything anyone wants in their…

which Bryan Fuller used to propel the second half of season 1 Hannibal.

I have been known to tackle escaping pets like a running back on a turnover, even other people's pets (I fear no scratches or bites.) I just barely refrained from cheerfully throttling my inlaws for letting my one escapee out and then standing there like dummocks while I scrambled under a truck to catch her.

People who let my cats escape do not get invited back to my house. That includes in-laws, who cannot for the life of them shut the fucking door in a timely fashion.

Good god, I want everything in both of those ads. The makeup, the dresses, the hair, the Bon-bons. Well done, Paul Kinsey, well done.

I've been trained to pet the cat while asleep. If I should happen to drop into a sounder sleep and stop, Miss Edith will awaken me with a paw to the nose, claws slightly popped for emphasis.

Because that's Gillian Fucking Anderson, a woman so stone-cold sexy she makes even the most stoic serial killers positively glow with joy (See also: Hannibal Lecter.) A woman who can make sifting through entrails while wearing unflattering pantsuits attractive.

Yoga teacher/fitness instructor here. I teach yoga six days a week, mostly to HIIT/ CrossFit women. My personal fitness routine is Les Mills Grit 3/4 days a week, BodyPump, and Insanity. I also teach an hourlong core class. Yoga is pretty essential for flexibility, core strength and avoiding DOMS. That said, in order…