I knew I'd find someone smarter than Stephen Hawking on Gizmodo.

You're kicking serious ass.

Whole foods. A balance of carbs/proteins and good fats. In a typical week I have nothing but fish and chicken with brussels sprouts and beans. If I do have a sandwich of any kind it’s typically a turkey wrap that I make myself with low sodium turkey breast and a mix of hummus and hot sauce for some flavor. Barely…

Well, it’s all about how much it can haul. Obviously, a doucheschooner hauls more than a douchecanoe, though both pale before the douchefreighter.

So is a doucheschooner like a douche canoe, but worse? Is there an established hierarchy of douchebaggery I can consult?

I’ll fuck Jalopnik, marry Gizmodo, and kill Gawker.

This is why we can’t have nice things.

Ok Gawker, time to step up to the plate: host the data yourselves and beat back the bogus DMCA notice..

Manager: “Did you get their order right this time?”

I made my man shepherds pie! Is that not good enough?! Does anyone know the time and work that goes into that shit?

I was pretty vocal on Gawker about their exploitation of the Sony hack, and I believe it got me banned (they don’t ever tell you why you are banned). This is just as bad and I couldn’t believe how many folks were defending the hackers pointing out about how the cheaters were scumbags, etc.

i dunno about the rest of you, but i’m using jeff@amazon.com everytime there’s a shipping delay on my order.

So how many people will crawl out of the woodwork to defend the “no grill lines people,” all of whom should never go out in public and order anything grilled?

Even George Orwell would be disgusted by this.

Or just waited until a Sasquatch walked by and lifted the truck off of him, equally plausible situations.

I’m 46, and I love your list.

No.

I think I’m older than most here (43) so here goes:

Even the government uses the $2.95 trick instead of just $3.

Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.