That he chose Pivot-Tables as his go-to excel operation shows that he is in fact a Fake Excel Nerd! A true excel nerd knows all the real magic happens in the visual basic editor.

His short game in necessarily amazing because tennis balls don't bounce on the Bayou...

I thought, as a temporary Down-Underer, that I would mention that at the moment deliberately tacky leggings are insanely popular in Australia with the trendy half-hipster half-it-girl students.

The name of my alt-punk band is Alt-Punk Band, because meta-humor gets those hipsters in faster than fusion music and fusion food. I'm going to set up a stall in Williamsburg selling my albums on vinyl and cassette only with a free wasabe frosting cupcake.

Genuinely loled at this! I bet a few people went back to check!

Its the goblin cum that makes Ranch so unbearably delicious. I'm glad I'm from a place where Ranch isn't common, otherwise I would way 100lb more!

I knew a woman who married into the name Crystal Ball. I don't think she would have enjoyed her childhood if she had been born into that name.

I'm going to throw out a potentially controversial opinion here. The time matters a lot more than the exercise. If you are thumping on a treadmill and pumping iron for an hour two or three times a week then it doesn't matter what the fuck you are wearing, just get on with your workout.

Lol! In that case I can't particularly blame you...

'kind enough to take my husband's opinions...' So very generous of you. You must really love that guy.

Technically you need a little bit of male involvement in order to conceive.

I would say whatever ridicule is coming her way is entirely fair regardless of whatever you decide to call her giant tacky wardrobe...

You should learn Urdu then tell your father in Law you learned Indian and speak to him. That would definitely solidify your reputation!

Fascinating! From wikipedia:

Earlier I was decrying what passes as 'satire' over on Jezebel, but if (some of) the gawker media readership found your joke a little too subtle then perhaps I was wrong...

Sometimes the lowest hanging fruit is the funniest.

I disagree. Poverty is a state, not a vector. Poverty isn't different because of how you became poor.

You have the Milky Way of stars and you didn't even say anything sassy and feminist to get them!

I've been reading through the thread and haven't quite been able to follow certain attitudes seen here because I'm British...

'Cos Red Ones Go Fasta!