Roger Goodell story: I went to high school with the children of an NFL owner (really nice kids) and Goodell spoke at graduation when the son (who was a year ahead of me graduated). His speech was about nothing. He spent most of the time thanking the family of another graduate, who apparently go to the same vacation…

I am long suffering Cubs fan. Bartman hurt.

I’ve accepted that the Cubs will probably win a World Series in the next couple of years, but please, just once more can I see the light fade from a smiling Cubs fan’s eyes. Just so I can feel normal again.

Even more important, your grandparents fucked.

I have two siblings. I’ve been wandering through life dealing with the idea that my parents had sex. Are you telling me they did it THREE TIMES?!?!

I hear the first time he tried sexing he threw his dick right to Malcolm Butler. It happens to the best of us, Russ.

There is currently raging within #JetsTwitter a truly depressing and heated debate between Fitz loyalists, who somehow believe the statistical worst quarterback in football so far this season is being scapegoated; Geno stans, who defend his two full seasons of futility as attributable entirely to a truly bad…

...of their “hot” cousin’s ass

And they’d tell you so if their mouths weren’t full.

Bills tailgaters think this guy is vulgar and uncivilized.

When the Browns win a championship.

When the Browns finally win a game.

Didn’t expect Nintendo to showcase their system with an old out of date game? Lol. Must be new here.

Nolan Ryan’s last playoff game was against Seattle in 1993 when he was 46. He faced Dave Fleming who was half his age.

In ‘08, Moyer (45) opposed Matt Garza (24). There probably is a bigger gap but shit, 21 years. That’s a legal beer drinker right there.

In a Dodger article comment thread, if any name deserves spell check it’s Koufax.

Sorry but I’m going to be that guy...

Does everyone know the fable of the scorpion and the frog? Essentially, the scorpion asks a frog to carry him across a river. Only he stings the frog midstream, ensuring both of their deaths, because it is the scorpion’s nature to sting. I couldn’t help but think of it while watching these cubs hitters turn Rich…

Yeah but fuck Tim Tebow he’d suck even for free.

When they fill the infield with water?