I just read about this great investment that’s projected to quadruple in value this year! Here’s $10,000. Now give me my $40,000 right now, please.

I don’t think you know what “projections” means.

Players receive money based on how many tickets and how much merchandise they sell, as well as how much money TV networks are willing to pay to broadcast their teams’ games. Essentially, if you play in a league that a lot of people watch, you’ll be paid more. (Which is why a minor-league baseball team who wins its…

Does success on the field mean more money earned in your world? Because if so, holy shit, was my little-league football team great! I should’ve retired at 13.

This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read.

LaRoche should sue. For $115 million.

Students can postpone jury duty till break.

Except that it’s not “significant.”

Hmm. The first 2000 scenario and the first (potential) scenario this time around are nearly identical:

In 2000, for example, teams could protect either two goalies, seven forwards, and three defensemen

Williams played against whites only for the first five years of his career. And the floodgates didn’t exactly open after that: His own team didn’t integrate for 12 more years.

Not to mention he wasn’t facing as many relief pitchers or as many different pitches as Bonds did.

Look, Ted Williams was a great hitter, but…

I mean, I don't own any memorabilia, but I view jerseys as artifacts of history. And I wouldn't begrudge someone for being a collector of history outside of sports, so why begrudge him or her for collecting sports history?

No, it’s not.

Here's another wide man who's been suspended.

I never said Bonds was “hands down better than Williams.” Not sure why you're yelling at me. Just don't mention batting average as the main point of your argument when discussing hitters. Makes you sound uninformed and old.

Batting average.

Ha, children.

“BA, the best metric to quantify hitting...”

Jesus, Grandpa. Go to sleep.

Yeah, if there’s one thing that excites fans, it’s hitting coaches!

Look, Tim, I’m with you: Bonds is probably the greatest hitter of all-time, and I don’t care that he did steroids. But he’s the worst kind of asshole: An asshole who never says anything interesting.

If he were playing, I’d be excited. But even the…

No, but being top 5 in just about every offensive category, including the newer, better ones, does.

I mean, is he TRYING to fuck over his old company? I liked his stuff a lot, but Jesus, man, show some respect and restraint in court. Being a smart ass plays great on Deadspin and Gawker. Not so much in court.