See, the problem with making that joke is that you didn't go and edit Wikipedia to actually include his picture. Put in the legwork. Otherwise, what's the point of the Internet?

"Well, there's something different; let's kill it!"

"My 60-year-old aunt", "my best friend's mom" Hey, you forgot to include the link that infests my computer with malware.

Well, this just made some legless African's day.

Evan Mathis' real bar tab:

I don't think they endorse them. They put brawls and ejections and reviews online because people want to see them and MLBAM (a partnership of the teams) takes ad revenue for everything.

Meanwhile on Twitter, "Can someone shoot me a link to that Deadspin article about me?"

Prediction: Whitlock will respond with a meh 750 word column. Claim he "stitched Greg Howard a clown suit", then reference The Wire. Probably something about "filling vacants".

His "new site" doesn't exist. It may never exist. As will be made abundantly clear to you once you actually read this article.

I wouldn't call the head of 538 overwhelmingly straight...

Rudich had hoped to have Ray Rice come out and give his blessing, thinking that would really knock her off her feet.

Must be dispiriting for these horses, us all being on the wrong track.

I can sympathize with Obama, one false step and they're ready to kill you.

One point all the badasses who think NBA basketball players are pussies for saying anything other than "everything was fine" are missing is this: When comparing NBA players to NFL and MLB players who don't enjoy A/C, every fucking example is an open-air outdoor stadium. If you put the Houston Texans inside Reliant…

So now Deadspin has a Spurs agenda?

Annd the HOT TAKES continue

NFL players play 5 minutes a game.

Marine Todd works out on the surface of the sun while eating Atomic Fireballs hard candy. I heard NHL players do that as well.

The place had "AT&T" written on it- just be glad it worked in the first place.