Vasectomy. Though I doubt the lesson was intentional.

Ah, truth—that most elusive of entities. Though I gather from your nick that you believe otherwise.

Actually, I was reincarnated.

Got gas?

You must be fun at parties.

Got milk?

How about I drink beer to get the big ideas, and serve coffee to my mates to get things done?

Cool! I'll be doing this with my iPhone.

But then I'd need to buy a new 4S for the purpose, and my point is that the 3GS is still useful.

(to the tune of 'American Pie'):

Hodor

Understood, and I agree.

So, let's buy these up and turn them into hackintosh KIRFs. You could probably make some spare change that way.

Relax—the problem will take care of itself.

Directed at Apple, you mean? The Ideaco New Tubelor was "was first launched in 2006", so it's not likely that Apple could claim that the design is infringing on the TrashMac Pro.

I like my old 3GS, thank you very much. It's unlocked and running on an ancient T-Mobile SIM that I don't want to lose the number from. It's also connected to the audio system in one room as a permanent source, so it would be handy if it could get iTunes Radio. My first-gen iPad (the only one I currently have)…

Ivan Pavlov is having a field day with this one.

Then why couldn't the iOS 6 music player be updated?

I hope Apple is wise enough to make it available to iOS versions earlier than 7. Surely there's no technical reason why they can't, and it would help the penetration enormously. Yes, of course they want to give users a reason to upgrade to iOS 7 (where possible), but since iTunes Radio generates income through ads or…

And you are a Pavlovian wet-dream.