Your guardian accessing the shard would have been the perfect time to add a new Element or new subclass trees. Gaul was the enemy that nearly destroyed what was left of Earth . The power to destroy him can only be found through this new Element or new subclass. And it would have helped with the whole “getting the band…

Last time I was on OK Cupid there was a local profile for a physically beautiful woman but the text boiled down to “ You need to have a career with room for advancement, not just a job and also have a well-used passport. Also [insert list of about 15 hard nos including video games, most TV and sleeping in]. Ugh. It’s…

And this doesn’t even get into negging or peacocking or screaming about circumcision.

“I will fly an airplane directly into Pete’s head”

It’s basically saying, ‘I don’t know what funny is, but I hear other people say each of these are funny, so I will do all of them at once, and it will be 10 times as funny”

Glennon isn’t a BOFA, He’s a

Ben is gonna sit down with this Frederick Douglass fellow, who by the way I have heard also believes CNN is very very unfair to me and they will bring spirit back to the inner cities. Soon they will dance and smile for Trump, you just watch.

This is the 4th grade answer to “what are Frederick Douglass’ most notable contributions to US history?” when your 4th grader didn’t read the chapter and doesn’t have even the foggiest idea of who he was, where he was or what he did

Put a picture lineup of Frederick Douglass, Buster Douglas, Mr Rogers and George Washington Carver in front of Trump and ask him to point out Frederick Douglass and he probably guesses wrong.

Yes but once you’re in the conspiracy realm, then these things not happening are typically due to 1. because “we” shined a light on Obama’s (or whoever’s) plan or 2. Obama (or whoever) only allowed us to lose our minds over this event to discredit us because we are too close to the truth

I saw people starting shit during a charity stream. How hateful do you have to be to make the internal calculus “Sure, this gamer is streaming for cancer research at the moment, but I have to call her fat RIGHT NOW”

Was it Colin Hanks or Chet Haze that your brother was on the team with?

“The Problem with liberals is that they just don’t love America. Kaep sitting, Michelle Obama saying she’s finally proud of her country, intolerance of traditionalist neighbors, etc.”

There would be so many panel shows featuring Jeffrey Lord and Cory Lewandowski discussing whether or not Hillary Clinton is in fact a cunt and whether it’s OK to say it on TV (after they have all said it 4 dozen times).

The Kubiak/Dennison offense is just the worst fucking thing to watch ever. There are exactly three plays: Halfback through the 1 hole, halfback through the 2 hole, play-action to naked boot with one receiver running a go route and everyone else running outs at various distances. The only changes are the personnel…

There is something delightfully unaware about the “you can’t make this up, folks” stuff that is clearly photoshopped

Either I’m going to have a 3 way with Kate Upton and Carlotte McKinney tonight or I’m not. 50-50 shot. It’s math.

I can think of 14 words that would explain why this is a bad idea.

“Still, Denver CB Aqib Talib says that one violation was too dangerous and egregious to let Wallace play this weekend.”

A Schiano man would do the stink palm before shaking Chip Kelly’s hand.