I’m adding a ! to every sexting question I can think of and every single one of them is hilarious.

I am laughing so hard I’m crying.

Of course.

Does that word make you uncomfortable?

I just went looking. I’m not sure what the absolute worst is, but this is someone I literally wrote to my special lady friend: “I want to slap your cheeks (the butt ones).” I don’t think I’m the worst person in the world at dirty talk, but i think objectively that one text puts me in the bottom ten, despite everything…

majority of the married/committed couple sexts posted here are weirdly adorable and becoming #goals

You win EVERYTHING. Except the part where that dude has your number.

Don’t be fatuous, Jeffrey.

Muscles. She later went on to theorize that the reason women in general liked muscular bodies is because the touch of muscles reminds them of the texture and consistency of an erect penis.

Ran into an ex, had a nice chat. Sat down the next morning to a cup of coffee, my phone buzzed and it was a picture of his junk post masturbation, all red and gross with the caption “Cloudy with a chance of rain.”

Did this cause him to pee his pants and twitch involuntarily for a few months after you sent him this? I think my penis would be afraid of you after that.

This was my sister dicking around on my tinder, but “U have a vagina serious?” “??” is one of my all-time favorite exchanges

We simply must go out and buy it a sapphire. And then not worry about where it gets put.

I’ve had fuck auto corrected more than once to ducks. Examples-

No screencaps, because it was AIM over a decade ago, but Mr. Fist of the Pon Farr messaged that he “wanted to see a boob”. I told him to look in the mirror, and from there on out, we were good.

Dated a guy who referred to his junk as his “peen” and “wiener” during sex talk. I dried up like a 3-day-old uncovered birthday cake.

oh god “honey pot” would just make me feel like i was having sex with winnie the pooh

Tounge. It’s always the tounge. Some dude always wants to get after me with his tounge.

No dice. I would love a little blood sugar sext magik but my partner is a literal dude with an impaired romantic imagination. The few times I’ve tried, with innocuous but hopefully leading messages like “I wish you were in my bed right now,” I get matter of fact responses like “too bad we live so far apart.” :/