Falcon Heene, you crazy bastard. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...

Have you ever given yourself a stranger? What!?

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Ah, such childhood memories...

Can't believe I didn't think of this earlier, but 2007 Daytona 500. Kevin Harvick barely beats Mark Martin by a nose after a 2-lap balls-to-the-wall finish. All the while absolute, mayhem is going on behind them.

I'll tell you what I'm blathering about... I've got information man! New shit has come to light! And shit... man, it's a Hyundai.

@Roberto G.: Why? Because he has the means to afford Iron Man's car of choice?

This porn-inspired ad was brought to you by Chevrolet. Chevy, "runs deep."

#FOTY

Everyone knows that true bros drive lifted trucks. It's the only way to get truly private road head or a deez HJ from some slam piece on the way to pound town.

(sung to the tune of Sonic's 50's-style jingle)

Any 94-98 V6 'Stang. You can't find a stock V6 in that year range on the road. From the awful 100-spoke rims, to the Pep Boys tail lights, headlights and grille upgrades, to the Walmart graphics and the terrible aftermarket exhaust, these vehicles are an abomination. I would provide a picture for reference, but you…

Not going to lie, got a little teary-eyed. I'm not ashamed, though. In the words of Zakk Wylde, bearded lumberjack and guitar shredder, "If a man doesn't fuckin' bleed and he doesn't cry, you don't trust him. He ain't a fuckin' man."

How many of you cock gobblers have ever actually watched an entire rally race more than the one time a year it's on basic cable during the X Games? (crickets)

Sweet watch.

@ak4ray005: Actually, yes, that's exactly what I mean.

Brett Favre disagrees.

Chrysler owners are only concerned about one thing: Can it be easily converted into a faux Rolls or Bentley?

@UncleBenny: He's definitely a lot more consistent now, but didn't finish higher than the 20's in final standings until 2009. Although, in his defense, he's had to race for awful teams for his entire NASCAR career.

Aside from Watkins Glen and Infineon, I don't see him doing very well early on. NASCAR, while boring to watch and possibly boring to drive in, has a proven steep learning curve and very few "real racers" have actually been able to do well. Tony Stewart comes to mind, but JPM, Sam Hornish, Jr. and a few others are…