I think you mean

How Can You Leave If You Were Never There To Begin With?

I am a native Minnesotan, raised by Minnesotans, and have made a sort of hobby to study and emulate accents.

I love it (although I’ve never had sweet labneh ... or a salty popsicle come tonthibg of it). But more importantly can we all just agree that whole milk yogurt (or labneh.....or milk!) is just way better that low fat or (shudder) non fat. You may be used to the latter but it is utter dreck and not even healthier for…

I do not understand the basement flood that goes on at the mention of Norman Reedus. I surely don’t.

People can bitch about not “resorting to violence” but part of making the world a nicer place for marginalized people is shutting up racists and other assholes. Punching Richard Spencer in the face, tossing drinks at Tomi Lahren, these aren’t just things that give me a warm fuzzy, they’re laudable actions that…

According to sources, Fox News recently installed a “meditation room” complete with Muslim prayer rugs

Muslim prayer rugs in Ollie North’s office

“They’re yelling, they’re claiming things that aren’t true,” Schlossberg said as he cowered behind a black and red umbrella.

We have bilingual people at my work and they talk Spanish amognst themselves all the time. I can’t understand them as I only know a little, but it doesn’t piss me off. It’s such a beautiful language. To my ear it is melodic. I don’t get people.

LOOK AT HIM RUN!!!!

“An ABC News reporter confirmed that Schlossberg is no longer welcome in the building where he rents office space.”

Straight EVICTED. This makes me happy. 

No me digas, no sabía, yo hablo español y no sabía que en España también hablan español, gracias por educarme.

He doesn’t even deserve the happiness that mariachis bring. He needs to get tuba’d everywhere from now on.

I often see white parents with obviously adopted black children, I’d call the police but they’d probably arrest the kids.

“I went to the dealership to get a Camry, but when I got it home I realized they’d slipped me a Bugatti instead! What kind of monster does something like that?”

Here’s an intentional dig: I thought Amanda Seyfried was Madonna in that picture.

Lions, too. LIONS!! THEY ARE GAY PRIDES, how can you possibly be against that?

What about a hovering, trans-dimensional being of pure energy that's visible only to the enlightened and transmits angry thoughts into your mind? Because I am really sick of having to drive that guy everywhere.