HA. Thank you for this. That was the only remotely amusing aspect of this horseshit.

And maybe even a pivot table. Wait... Nah.

I bet it's more sophisticated than the spreadsheet that guy made because he wasn't getting enough sex from his wife.

Hey, I set that thing up to be color coded and everything. Y

if it's excel, they may even use colors!

Must be all that Pivot Tables and shit.

Well, it probably has a couple of columns and some rows.

Preeetttyyy sure "very sophisticated spreadsheet" is an oxymoron.

I had to Google Big Sean (I'm only 27) and my first reaction: "HE'S NOT EVEN BIG." It's OK, I know some of these people and others I don't even bother to Google half the time. Keep the oldnerance.

There is no happier place in the universe for Kimye than an elevator that's all mirrors.

I know I am getting old when I have no idea who these people are.

It does, and basically anyone who claims to know when the Rapture is happening will not be joining the fun, because they committed the sin of Pride by pretending to know what God is thinking.

So, really, the only person in any danger of getting Raptured at any point in the foreseeable future is Pope Francis, because he…

I dated a girl in high school who was devoutly religious and kept trying to convert me. I usually reacted with good humor and just politely declined, because I appreciate the thought. (It's nice for someone to be worried about my eternal soul on my behalf.) One day she broke down in hysterics because she and her…

I want to kiss my screen...But, that would be wildly inappropriate at work.

I was halfway to the mall before I realized you were joking.

Not as good a resemblance as this:

I'll go when they have a golden retriever named Tom Hiddleston.

"SMDH" — God.