I guess now she'll have to refocus her efforts on her softball team, Kristy's Krushers.

BECAUSE KRISTY THOMAS WAS A BIG OL' LESBIAN AND WANTED TO KEEP THE BABYSITTERS CLUB A CLAMBAKE!

ehhh when I was younger I was "scary skinny" and I ate a ton. Which came around to bite me in the ass after college and my metabolism normalized and now I put on weight like an average person. So thanks for your judgment, but no

This will never not be funny.

Just a warning for my fellow Jezzies who are also Gawkerites: The comments on the Gawker version of this article are infinitely depressing.

Jon Hamm can dress my porno set any day, amirite?

Whenever I feel starstruck by celebrities, I remind myself that they all take shits. Like, even Angelina Jolie takes a dump.

I kind of love this one . It works for her.

I think the dress is great, but she needs to lose the necklace. A simple drop pendant would suit better - as it it, she looks like she used to have a scarf and it's been shredded.

It's okay. She's totally not feeling it anymore. It's become really mainstream. These days she's super into pickling kale in artisanal mason jars and crafting bespoke driftwood garden benches.

Sibling double weddings are awesome if you're Lizzie & Jane Bennett!

I'm an ELCA Lutheran, and we're kissin' cousins to the Episcopalians, but we don't consider marriage a sacrament. Henry VIII and Thomas More had a rather profane back-and-forth with Martin Luther, because the latter only recognized baptism and the Holy Eucharist as sacraments.

Once again proving, gay marriage is just like straight marriage. Some last forever, some don't.

I actually got excited and clicked that Buzzfeed link thinking I was going to get some Nebuchadnezzar, only to have my hopes crushed. Darn you, Burtbecca! (And darn me for being both a history junkie and a sucker!)

I have an aunt named Gay, and she is super butch. She is an artist, and a hella excellent human being. She made this painting of an emu called "You wanna piece of me?"