Personally, I love folderol, claptrap, and flapdoodle.

What these guys just aren't getting is that shade is quite nuanced and the attempts to cast or define it, in the hands of amateurs, get old really quickly.

OMG my mother-in-law, bless her heart. She is recently deceased, and the only reason I didn't go to her funeral in a red dress is because...I didn't have a red dress, but I wore red undergarments, so my point stands. That being said, she was on her deathbed last month; my husband was standing over her, and I was…

Totally joy. And maybe a bit of a sugar coma.

IIRC, the face that won the Oscar for Moonstruck wasn't the original face either.

The Girl Scout lemon cookies, whatever the HELL they're called, are a religious experience.

*bursts into tears*

OMG ! A gorgeous, healthy looking woman. Unable to sentence. Verb. Whatever.

It's like rubbernecking a human morality trainwreck.

Pretty sure he speaks for many of us.

I think that some essential oils are good for sexy times. Used in the right amount, in the right places. With lots of enthusiasm. Hey! Maybe essential oils sexy times can cure cancer! Maybe.

Enough raps on the knuckles and you'll remember your catechism.

As sick as I am of The Perils La Lohan, I've always felt that she has become the whipping goat for all the crimes and misdemeanors of her and her cohorts. She didn't do all this shit alone, and yet, she's the one we hear about, and she's the one going to jail —rightly so! But still.

OMG! Yes! Back in 1990, I wanted one of those long, loopy curl perms (impossible perm), so I and my butt-length, curly hair went to a "professional." She managed to curl *all* of my hair onto about a million of those little bitty red perm rods, burned my scalp with goop, and, after about an hour, my luxurious,…

He paid with a Discover card.

Fuck him. Fuck his tour. Fuck his protectors. Fuck his defenders. Fuck all of them. FUCK HIM.

Would you rather I be in bed with you calling out his name or in bed with him calling out yours? Thought so. Whoever the hell you are.

Every born-again I ever fucked had a holy, blood-washed, and sanctified calling to be a premature ejaculator. I had a lady boner for bad good boys. I grew out of it, though.

...and the college women who won't stop getting raped...