Man, if all of this had gone down in California, I would swear you were dating my SO's ex-roommate. Smarmy little shit who thought he was James Bond smooth, and just a total waste of time and space; he was so misogynistic, dating two girls at the same time and being an abusive twat to both. I remember my SO and I…

Ugh, Tustin/Irvine and their preplanned 50 Shade of Beige townhomes and HOAs that are out for blood. I have cousins in South County who seem actually nervous to cross the dividing line between Tustin and the North (Winter is coming!), it's weird to see a provincial mindset in regards to such a small space and, yes,…

I am also extremely glad to have found my life partner too, the thought of trying to get out there (with "there" being the sucky conservative enclave of Orange County) and make a connection now that I'm older and more set in my ways and opinions makes my skin crawl.

Racist, sexist, obsessed with getting fucked up or partying or fighting, being mean to animals, goes on self-involved missionary trips for the local mega-church (there are several in this area), and excreting soul-crushing bitterness over being rejected by the objects of his or her affection. These are things that…

So true. At least be incredibly embarrassed and replace it.

See, your detailed instructions are enough for me (as your hypothetical houseguest) to feel like you are really going out of your way for me as a host and, as a reward, I'm getting you drunk tonight!

Always and forever, MK, always and forever.

It depends. If I'm flying out to the middle of nowhere where there aren't any rental cars or public transit available, yeah, getting picked up would be nice. But someplace like NYC? Hell no, there are maps, public transportation, and sidewalks at my disposal. Wandering around the city is like half of the fun, and then…

It's a silver lining I look to during this trying times.

What I Want from My Seemingly Frequent Houseguests*:

A gross "friend" of my SO is constantly trying to weasel a weekend stay out of us when he is in the area. When he lived nearby, he would try and come over fairly late on any given night of week to get as fucked up as possible and sleep well into the next day on our couch. (Or else do line after line after line, while…

I met him once. I was some lowly child's ride operator at some rich producer's kid's 2nd birthday party and Steve Carell, his wife, and one of their kids was there. They were the epitome of graceful and well-mannered to plebs and famous people alike, even to the clown hired to entertain the kids, who was ready to drop…

If you're terrible, so am I. Gorgeous Video Brunette makes it on the list for later.

Holy crap, he should never be allowed to be anywhere near a media outlet and/or representative without a handler to take him firmly in hand. That quote is so absurdly stupid, it borders on hilarious.

I get the dismissive vibe from the women in the video who, were pretty funny, but the video (both versions) itself is just pointless. Like, there's no point deconstructing all of the boobs and dumb that just went down, but I'll go on record and say that I love jamming to this song in the car.

He sounds...not bright.

[insert all of the "Nope!" gifs the internet has to offer]

Sure, but to the media at large on a national scale? With your livelihood dependent on hers like theirs are? I'm white, was raised in the church, am in an interracial/intercultural relationship too and I can (and do!) say my racist relatives are racist all day long as well, but I don't have to announce it to world and…

I think the key here is the level of tragedy. Liz Taylor had a very tumultuous life, full of heartaches and bad times, but ultimately, she overcame, survived, and thrived. This is inspirational, but doesn't have the same mystique as Marilyn Monroe, who lived a life full of tragic events and ultimately died, either by…

Mama Lady Person, I'mma have to call you out on this "no t-shirts in winter" bullshit you're trying to make happen. You live in Laguna Beach. Yes, the coastal fog rolls in thick and damp, but it never drops below 60 Fahrenheit. Your little fashion doll can wear t-shirts.