Because that’s so much easier to swallow.

A Replicant of below-average intelligence who prickles at the distinction between a tortoise and a turtle

You don’t come to Jezebel and post a defense of AXE body spray without being either pretty confident in yourself, a complete fool, or both.

Can I have my 10th grade knees back too?

Why thank you, sir!

I didn’t have great answers for her

I resent you comparing AXE body spray to FHM. Axe is perfectly acceptable when used with restraint, and not as a replacement for actual hygiene. I use it myself and I’ve received many compliments from women—provided they had no idea what my “cologne” actually was.

Right wing logic.

Obligatory.

Getting knocked unconscious is serious business. If someone loses consciousness, they should always go to the hospital as a precautionary measure. There is literally no way to tell except with brain scans whether someone just got their bell rung a little bit, or if they could have a life-threatening hemorrhage.

Bravo, my friend. You are the only person other than myself who I’ve seen put that much thought into products of so little cultural value.

1. Korea: It’s official government policy to not call terrorism terrorism in South Korea, due to fear of civil unrest and empowering North Korea. It does happen, but they rarely if ever call it that. Example: In 1999, attempted assassination of the president of South Korea by bomb that killed 17 people.

I ACTUALLY have an explanation for Thoth! I had better get permanently ungreyed for this one:

But at what age would he shank Hitler?

There’s a running joke between me and my friends online, where one of us will greet the other with “Yo,” and if the other’s had a bad day, they reply “Oy.” Not really a funny joke, just one of those shibboleths close friends develop. So that’s how I read it: Going one way, it’s a greeting, going the other way, it’s…

It’s to make sure that you read the whole thing in Dolores Umbridge’s voice, but she doesn’t realize that you need to set the tone at the beginning.

Not since the end of the war between the Sand Castle and the Lego Fort. Many bothans died defending the Lego Fort.

True words. If you want to see a shining example of this in action, catch up on the ongoing Jim Sterling/Digital Homicide saga. A shitty, shady developer run by two brothers (who may or may not have any other employees), they threatened legal action for defamation because of an error he made and corrected, the same…

I don’t feel it’s unfair, as the song is horribly problematic to modern ears. It’s fine to be really uncomfortable with it, just as it’s fine to like it (I still kinda like it, depending on the rendition).