Because dicks were already the subject of conversation. It's impolite to stick your dick where it doesn't belong, but once the subject's already popped up, you can take a shot at it.

As a straight guy with a very feminine mindset, I want her to be her wife.

At this point my dick is fully retreated into my stomach and my nuts were following close behind.

Going down to Wal-Mart*. This is going to be me tonight.

Did you ever consider that perhaps I was talking about your inability to dance with your username?

Username that is clearly intended to push people's buttons but does not jive with apparent politics, check.

Slashdotted! Or maybe Kinja'd.

You say that like listening to your inner 13 year old for cool ideas is a BAD thing.

I heard it explained once that the beauty and perfection of our state of evolution is the "averageness" of it all. We don't live in extreme environments as a whole and due to our convenient environment as well as the ability to migrate at will or simply change our surroundings. So yeah, we don't need as tough of skin…

"Whenever Isabella/Poochie's on screen, the other characters should all be like, 'Where's Isabella/Poochie"

Because in real life, we never flirt with people who aren't interested, or we're just platonic friends with. We only have the option to flirt with people who are genuinely interested.

Eh, IIRC Texas is the only Red State that could support itself in a theoretical secession. I don't remember the numbers, but it could probably support a couple other red states by itself too.

My favorite ecumenopolis is Ravnica, from Magic: The Gathering. They recognized this need so there's plenty of vertical greenspaces...that just happen to be run by a brainwashing communist cult.

I know this might sound really dumb, but I'm committed to saying the dumb things I think out loud so I know better next time.

Not normally, but now that you mention it I should probably ditch the Exorcist music as my ringtone.

I hate it when I end up following someone by accident. Like, we're both going in the same direction, but have been for long enough that I know I'm starting to creep them out and have no idea what to do about it except keep walking. Then they turn around and I smile nervously, which makes things 10 times worse because…

True story. When I was in Korea I worked at the clinic for a while, and we had a big jar of condoms. We noticed almost no soldiers taking them, however, and wanted to see if we could get more out there. So we put up a second jar beside it and labeled it "large."

I think that if you write a character as white and/or male, you should justify it. Most people when they think "I'm making a character" are really thinking "I'm making a white male character," but don't even realize it because that's like the "default setting" in our culture. Also, before writing a character of a…

Ehhh....getting beyond my pay grade there. Not hugely into lord of the rings. Read the original three, loved the movies, but that's about where it ends. Except that thing about the eagles, which I remember from a defense of why they seem so fickle and lazy.