So, that means either my wife or my girlfriend is cheating on me. Bitches, man.

When asked how he got away, Chapman stated that "I gotta fast car."

Yeah. Wrote it one handed.

Clint Dempsey raps like Greg Howard blogs

"The three stars represent the Galaxy, the Sounders, and NYCFC: the three teams for whom we go out of our way to break our own rules."

All you people pointing a finger at Jonathan Dwyer need to understand that domestic violets are planted around many, many homes throughout the American south. They are something he grew up with, part of the culture in which he was raised.

If you're keeping score at home, there are two Trojans that could have prevented this.

People knew it was Winston when they noticed that nearby FSU campus police were looking the other way.

NFL on line 1.....

You can tell he identifies really strongly with his team, because he also doesn't have a point.

Wow. Who knew that Jeter's biggest intangible of all was actually the baseball itself.

Ray Lewis: There is no comparison of me and Ray Rice. I'm far more similar to Aaron Hernandez.

The handrail in the elevator has also expressed regret for its involvement.

If there is one constant in USMNT soccer it is great goalkeeping. Before Howard we had Keller and Friedel. Guzan is up next and is one of the Premier league's top goalkeepers.

This. Totally this. The USA defense was absolute garbage and we were still a mere Wondow fuck-up away from advancing. There's no way the D is that bad in 2018, this team is growing in the right direction. Timmy and Dempsey are great but losing them won't kill the team. Rimando/Guzan can stonewall it in net—anyone…

You are correct, making to the semi's is tough for any team.

I know. I hate it when people have clearly delineated goals in causes they're passionate about. What a stupid idiot.

History lesson: 2002 World Cup, no superstars, no predictions, no fuss. U.S. makes it to Round of 8, outplays Germany, loses by a goal. Why there is perpetually such amazement at the notion that we could make it to the R8 or R4 is beyond me. Oh - did I mention that we've made it out of the group stage 3 out of the…

Far from the first time that a dick has been on full display in Downtown Chicago.

Lacky: "Welker popped Molly"