I was out walking my dog (RIP) one day. She walked up to a lady and put her nose in her grocery bag to check things out. The lady slapped my dog across the face. I was shaking with anger! Obviously I’m not going to get physical, so I grabbed my dogs poop bag, turned it inside out and smeared it on the ladies…

I have this dream where we give Texas and Arizona back to Mexico in exchange for Baja California. Seems like a fair trade, no?

I love gay porn!

Every. Day.

I still wish I was invited to that party.

Married!? I guess my invitation must have been lost in the mail...

But The Walt Disney Company did have an official float at LA Pride this year for the first time. We handed out raindow Mickey stickers, complete with a (c)Disney! The theme was “Celebrating All Families”

Yeah. I never really understood the hate for her. Probably just jealousy?

Hubba. Hubba.

OMG I missed the sex part?! Must rewatch!

Don’t you ever get tired of being yourself? I mean really? Why would you even read an iPhone article when you don’t want/have one? Samsung could come out with a phone that wakes me up with blowjob and I wouldn’t know because I don’t read articles about Samsung—and I still wouldn’t buy one! It’s just a fucking phone.…

You can do that at home, but as I mentioned in another post there is no TP at the urinals.

I lived in Honolulu (Wilhelmina Rise) for five years. Not arguing that it’s expensive, BUT the duplex we had was way cheaper than anything comparable here in Los Angeles. We had a 3 bed/2bath two story with a view of the bay for $2300. There is no way in hell you can get something like that in LA. My first apartment…

My first time voting as an adult was for Bill Clinton!

Thank you! I love to support my local economy while also helping out mi hermanas/hermanos.

He’s soooo not my type. But damn that thing is fine.

I can’t believe I haven’t seen this movie. I mean Tom Hardy, bad-ass women, Tom Hardy, bad-ass cars, Tom Hardy, bad-ass women, flame throwing guitars, Tom Hardy, speaker walls, bad-ass women, etc. Oh did I mention Tom Hardy?

She probably did! She told me that meant I had to pee so I left the room and did. Life lesson remembered!!

That. Is. Awesome. I’m totally gonna do that at some point in my life.

Exactly! I can still remember when I was about 5 or 6 and my mom came in to wake me up for school and I had my first “early morning boner”. Confused, I stood up on my bed and said “Mommy? My peepee is hard!” And then I slapped it to provide evidence.