Oh my god, just get married so that you can fuck already. You’ve already shown that divorce is perfectly A-Okay in the eyes of baby Jesus if you’re just not compatible, or if your wife fucks Golden Tate.

“Some irrelevant reference to all white people being racist”

You have the only correct opinion. I lightly stir mine with a fork, in a bowl. When the butter is foaming in the pan I gently pour them in and fold them several times until they are barely still moist and then pull them.

“It’s like a Mama Penguin vomited in my mouth.”

I’m just here for the Pete Carroll-9/11 and Russell Wilson-celibate jokes.

This kid is the most punchable face to play for Duke in years.

Better than it otherwise would have been? That’s debatable. And I am debating it. Honest and authentic is good, but it isn’t everything. You can be an honest and authentic jerk and few people will really enjoy it (although there will be a small, but vocal few on the internet who will celebrate you for your “honest and…

They may be boring, but he doesn’t get criticized afterwards. Cam is allowed to sulk, but he opens himself up for criticism when he does it. If he doesn’t want hot takes about his presser, maybe don’t be a baby?

Maybe doing this all year?

Cam Newton makes millions of dollars. Part of the job requirement is to be interviewed.

“The Broncos defense systemically took apart Newton’s offense, his season, and his reputation”.

Has Deadspin ever before latched onto some athlete to go out of its way with a defense force to support his conduct? I think we get it at this point — white people hate Cam and anyone who doesn’t like him must be a racist. You’ve been pushing that message all season and it’s ridiculous.

When you go out in warmups and wear cleats that are golden and say MVP, you're clearly begging for some attention. If you're that prepared for praise you should probably expect some criticism to the same level on the other end if things backfire.

Here we go, all of the posts trying to rationalize his crabby attitude and demeanor during and after the game. Hey guess what: He’s a sore loser. It’s true that if they don’t want him to dance then they should keep him out of the endzone. But if they do keep him out of the endzone then he shouldn’t be a sore loser…

Honestly, you can’t just say “vast majority of players.” Your point of comparison HAS to be the star/face of the team.

I don’t have too many problems with Cam. He’s a stud QB and athlete. That said, I REALLY wanted to take him (and his teammates) at face value when they all said he had matured as a leader. I wanted to see what would happen in adversity, and I had some concerns when he ran off the field after losing to ATL without…

In light of his performance, and to mitigate any potential legal troubles, Oikos Greek Yogurt will now come with a choking hazard warning label.

[sees opportunity to repair damaged image during offseason]

I can’t celebrate Cam’s exuberance and then just gloss over the fact that he spent the postgame presser last night acting like the Wendy’s drive-thru gave him the wrong order.

After all those Greek yogurt ads, I think people were just expecting someone a bit more cultured.