I’ve fired both many many times and I personally can’t stand the chunky, plastic feel of the Glock.

Shouldn’t “9/11 play types” refer to charging over Tim Duncan and David Robinson?

In my experience, Portland is the city that the machine spits all these people out into. Almost nobody that is actually from Portland looks or acts like this.

Those adults didn’t come here to play “fundamental human decency.”

You have some self-esteem issues dude, watching porn doesn’t make you “lust over the actors” on the screen. I watch porn, the men are generally way better built than my boyfriend, it doesn’t make me want to have sex with them.

I weirdly love Nicole Richie. Even back in “The Simple Life” days. It makes me so happy that she smuggles KFC and has trouble logging onto wifi just like the rest of us.

Yeah the answer is clearly Tavaris Jackson

Mike Moustakas’s mother passed away in August from cancer—he still writes her initials on his glove and scratches them into the dirt

Some motherfucker on Shark Tank last week was trying to sell an Elf on the Shelf knock off for Halloween where basically the kids turn in most (if not all) of their candy and in the morning (Nov 1st) they have a wrapped present waiting for them! I nearly had a stroke. It’s bad enough that the Christmas ads start…

Hmm, yes, why didn’t those teenagers throw themselves in front of a fully-equipped cop with an effective license to kill who is already demonstrating that he’s more than willing to escalate the situation to whatever level of violence he feels like and who has already demonstrated that he will gladly make their lives a…

I work in healthcare and get to particpate in some pretty cool life-saving emergent situations. Picture a liter of soda because that’s how I am going to reference quantity.

God, this shit happened all the time when one of my ex-girlfriends worked at Borders. Because of the size of the store, they could never know if the parents were still there, but as the kid’s section supervisor it turned her job into a circus of apprehensive hovering when a toddler was just clomp-clomping around…

Dear Mom,

A quick drive that goes nowhere and ends in disaster? That sounds like the Seahawks offense to me.

Restaurants are actually complicit in this. A lot of restaurants—from the hole-in-the-wall to the posh—all have “kids’ menus” with the same things on them - pizza, mac & cheese, chicken nuggets, etc. Restaurants should do away with these unimaginative items and just do kids’ portions of their regular fare and charge…

Bless the bride- her MIL is going to be like that for the rest of their marriage.