Dave,

“I wish I’d ordered a something in a bigger glass. Who is the bar back?”

On one hand, fuck this guy. Fire him if he doesn’t want to do his job.

And goddammit, can we please stop rising for “God Bless America” in the seventh? It’s not the national anthem. I’m not getting off my ass twice in one game to fellate the flag again.

When I was in college, one of my go-to-study foods was dipping graham crackers in can of cream cheese frosting ..or even better, if it was the right time of year, Thin Mints in cream cheese frosting.

Take it from a Seattle guy: this is a bullshit scare-tactic. The NBA uses Seattle in the same way the NFL used Los Angeles for 20 years. They have no intention of moving a team here, because they know the best way to get new buildings for everyone is to leave Seattle open and make threats that local politicians will…

good story, excellent humble brag

On the plus side, you get to wear the color purple a lot more. On the not plus side, we give Kobe the keys to all our players’ houses. He usually doesn’t use the keys at all, but sometimes he does and the great thing is you never know when he will! When he does, it’s just typical Kobe pranks like killing your dog in…

I’m an atheist and so is my ex, and we didn’t baptize the offspring, which was a major big deal for both of our families. My ex’s mother once casually brought up that she saw nothing wrong with a grandmother secretly baptizing her grandchild if the parents wouldn’t do it. I was pretty doormat-ish at the time and…

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

35B/C don’t have guns. They have gun pods, which have failed every single time they were attempted to be used on a previous gun-less aircraft.

We once took my grandparents out to a restaurant for their anniversary. It was an authentic German restaurant, at least as authentic as someone can get in the United States, and my grandparents were both born and raised Germans. For the meal, there were no complaints. It was good food. But my grandpa kept this look on…

I once shorted a man a nickel, you would’ve thought I just ran over his grandchildren with a car made out of Matlock episodes.

You mean like this gem?

“What’s wrong honey?”

In a disruptive economy, I think airbnj has a nice sound.

YASSSS. So two summers ago my (now) fiance got invited to a wedding for a really distant friend he hadn’t seen much since high school. We were perplexed by the invite but decided to go. The wedding was really weird (first dance was “Purple Stuff” and these people were band nerds) and awkward (white MOH “rapped” her…

When I was a kid we went to the wedding of someone on my mother’s side of the family. We never saw that side, so myself and my siblings only knew maybe 3 people in attendance. I think my sister was about 17 at the time. She had been making eyes at some random guy, and then they started hanging out on the dance floor.…

Okay, this isn’t a hook up, but a story of a guy who wanted to hook up with me at a wedding (so typical, cause I was a bridesmaid). So, it’s the reception time and I’m dancing my ass off. This cute guy starts dancing around me, and then he says the best pick up line I’ve ever heard: “I can’t dance, but I sure can…

There is no khaki fetish porn.