STOP FILMING WITH YOUR PHONE HORIZONTAL! YOU GET THOSE BLACK BARS WHEN...

I have to stick up for my boy Vertonghen here. I know it looks like it was soft, but how do you know it didn't legitimately hurt him? Even the slightest bump to your head stings a hell of a lot more than you'd think.

Early 2012 George Clooney: This script for Monuments Men is Oscarworthy

There is, however, a runaway winner in the "Chemically Disfigured Face of MLB" contest.

Denis: "I think it's getting..." [SNIFF] "...dusty in here."

"Um, Riley...they're still going to be allowed to play."

Well, at least show me some goals, near misses, or good saves... instead of this worthless photo.

She's not the only one with a wood in her hand!!!

Ha! Women drivers! AMIRITE!11!1!

Eastern conference scout: "Three years ago, I was the only scout saying Rondo is underrated, and I was crucified for it. I was saying he was crafty. I think he's a gritty player. He's only going to pass it to you if he thinks you'll make an easy bucket, which is awfully considerate. I've seen him come out for pregame…

I've seen him come out for pregame warmups with his shoes untied...

Wait a minute. Isn't this a crowd that largely agrees that traditional stats like assists aren't particularly good? That we miss a lot of value by failing to account for the value-add of non-assist moves and passes? (Indeed, Deadspin had fawning coverage of an advanced stat directed precisely to that issue.) So…

Three years ago, I was the only scout saying Rondo is overrated, and I was crucified for it.

Morse: -.. . . .—. / .-. .. —. .... - / -.-. . -. - . .-.

Glad to use this.

+1. That hurt me when I groaned.

I'm glad to see you have switched to using the term "US Canadians".

sure just move to a real country and you'll be all set.

Why does Deadspin use these msn video links? Us Canadians can't view them :( Not like we're super important or nothing, but we'd like to view these boss soccer goals!

Swiss cheesed by Real Madrid? I suppose you could say Schalke is Galacticos-intolerant.