Interviewer: Which weighs more, a pound of bricks or a pound of paper clips?

Hey, everyone, if you're into this kind of thing, we can have others on the team do them for other platforms, too.

This is apparently a trend among athletes. For example, yesterday no one was guarding Aaron Hernandez.

Doctor: How would you describe the symptoms?

Minor had the procedure on his urethra on the last day of 2013

I was going to make a Liam Neeson joke, but the idea was ...... taken.

I believe the colloquial term for the procedure in the baseball world is "Tornmy Dong" surgery.

Damn, right before pitchers and catheters were scheduled to report, too.

"Surgery On His Dickhole"? Seriously, guys, urethra new low with that one.

And the surgeon is facing charges for touching a Minor's dick ...

No surprise this is going to keep him off the mound for a while.

The surgeon misunderstood him when he said he had trouble trying to P.

If I wanted a dumb uncle, all I had to do was follow Elkington on Twitter? Then why the hell did I spend all this money on an iNoogie attachment for my phone!?

So he would make an awesome Deadspin comment contributor is what you're telling me?

42, Mr Ecko. How's your church?

FORTY-TWO.

I guess my comments will now stop showing up on Regressing the same way they stopped showing up on Deadpsin. Oh well, I had a good run.

Guess the next number in this sequence and you get a cookie.

Elkington is showing that he is clearly an asshole with a profound misunderstanding of homosexuals and gay culture in general. I mean, why would Michael Sam be throwing handbags when he could be WEARIIIIING THEEEEEEM?!

"Sorry...I've been drinking" should be a legal defense against 99% of all dumb things said. Maybe 75%. I dunno, I've been drinking.