Really? That's crazy!

Thankfully, his fall was broken by a pile of dirty syringes.

Aguiar has all the qualifications the Jets are interested in. Namely, he really needs the money.

Nice.

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His bail was posted by his best friend, Walter Paysincash.

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Danilo had an even better post-game stat line. He played his accordion in front of the arena and the white-headed capuchin on his shoulder was able to collect 10 dollars!

Oh, I totally agree with you on his abilities as an impressionist. But yeah, his skits are just the worst. When he just sticks to riffing while in character, he's a lot funnier.

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a very un-regal 2-20 record on the season

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This comes on the heels of news that Scott Paterno has landed a job eating all the leftovers on Top Chef.

Ha. Yeah, I remember reading somewhere that he was actually scouted, but obviously nothing came of it.

Wasn't George H.W. Bush a really good baseball player at Yale?