Become so ensconced in your new life that you barely remember your fugitive past. Oh, but one dogged Chicago gumshoe still does. He saw you on TV and he ain't letting that shit go.

Damn, that's good.

BREAKING: ESPN has suspended Bob Ley for taking pictures of his genitals.

Oh wow, so he finally found out who his wife has been sleeping with?

+1

I wouldn't count on Jesus's help, Juan. Antoine Walker has wasted years trying to get the guy to turn his debt into wine.

Ha!

Awesome.

Skis. That should be skis.

+1

Thankfully, Johnston's primary veterinarian sees no signs of depression in the former fullback.

Great restaurants?

Ouch. +1

Ha!

Well, I'm sure that'll be the last time she borrows Bill Johnson's skies.

Time for Terry Kiser to start rolling in that sweet, sweet bobblehead money!

+1

+1

+1

Good God, this is beautiful.