When cattle are bread, it's usually this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_f…

Not to mention that's not even how cattle are bread anymore; welcome to the 21st century:

I like that, but I I really love rhyming.

A musician friend of mine wrote a song called, "She Only Loves Me When Her Car's Broke."

Be careful with your jubbly-bits, kids. The Lord Jesus doesn't want to hear your prayers for a swift healing of your botched taint shearing.

From Kayla Knapp:

Now I feel awkward saying I owned him in my fantasy football league.

Jeez, you took that Iguodala tweet totally out of context! He was referring to the time machine that he and Steph Curry invented. He was tweeting from the year 1513!

Who's this "we" you speak of? Weird. Somebody must of hacked my Twitter, because I didn't tweet out anything about Richard Sherman last night.

...a high pressure system moving in...

Psh. This ruins the natural feeling of porn. Gone are the days where some random guys (that happen to film everything) pick a girl up in a van that needs a ride and make love. I want disgruntled house wives that are treated unfairly to find love with a pool boy.

Now I'm picturing green-screen condoms! They could project storm clouds, engines, bait-balls of fish...truly a world of possibility!

Perfect timing with "He can't wait to interact with the kids."

Ah, you haven't completed the Cheese Trinity. You have the cheesehead, you now need cheese curds and the ceremonial cheese dagger. Once you have all three, all the treasures of Wisconsin will be unveiled to you. May the Glory and the Majescheese be yours.

My parents used them and here I am!!!!!!!!!!!

he's from Oconomowoc, a town that only Wisconsinites know how to pronounce

*looks around*

Stick to Life, assholes.