Surprise: Being Poor Makes It Much Easier to Get To the VFW

I miss those columns, I hope they can find a home somewhere. You could always just describe the beverage and never name it.

Decent vodkas that won't break the bank: Svedka, Tito's, and Stoli are safest bet for value and quality. Personal favorite has been Tito's for some time now.

Former beer delivery guy here. I don't see any possible way for a bar to purchase cases for half price. The margins for beer distributors are pretty narrow, especially when you're talking the normal "premiums" (business term, not mine) Bud, Bud Light, Coors Light, and Miller Lite. Since a lot of distributors are…

I used to run a bar. It was neighborhood bar, not overly expensive, and the draws were $1.50.

Bud's distributor cuts NO deals for small bars; your bonus is free delivery. You wanna drive your Honda to Blanchards to pick up 10 kegs a week? I mean, I see your point, seriously, but I also trust my lying eyes and saw the paperwork.

That's a good point but also a fairly esoteric circumstance, right? What DOES go bad at a neighborhood bar is vermouth, which doesn't last the infinity people seems to assume.

I once paid £20 for a drink at some very fancy bar in London. It was completely mediocre, and then I did the exchange-rate math and realized Id' gotten a $40 cocktail and I cried.

Plus liquor licenses don't come cheap, but insurance must be astronomical.

When talking about overhead, bars also pay mammoth liability insurance premiums.

I can't wait to see some of the rifles at this year's NFL Columbine

Everyone knows that Juliette Gordon Low bled single-barrel bourbon when pricked.

He dismisses girl scout cookies but then advocates the use of a MAGIC marker. Start getting too much into that stuff and next you know your daughters will be using their dark magic to force you to buy them Dungeons and Dragons books and hobby gaming supplies! Let's keep our eyes on the REAL evil here.

Cujo.

YUP.

I see you, 2010 Twihard moms.

If those guys are from Utah, then those rocks couldn't be more than six thousand years old.

As someone from the Utah area, let me offer a little insight: When he says he was "prompted" to move the big scary rock, he's saying Jesus told him to move it.

I don't get if I get guff for this: What about the smiley fries?? Get a nice, crispy outside with a fluffy potato inside and you're all set. Also, talk about surface area!!

30-something: WTF?!? You put a package of raw chicken on top of a ventilated pack of strawberries?