Simmer down guys. We dont want him calling his Maumee.

My father's brother's nephew's cousin's former Native American roommate doesn't have a problem with this.

Yes, I could be convinced to eat Jennifer Lawrence.

"Stay off the grass-covered portion of the legal parcel of real propery over which I continue to hold a common law right of redemption!"

In an incredible display of accuracy, LaVar Arrington also had his house sold in an IRS auction.

Yeah. Because lesbian women are SO into joining sororities.

You didn't but there is a lack of emphasis of the genesis of where this comes from. This isn't even what the Catholic church officially teaches. Labelling it as coming from a Catholic group is a bit disingenuous. Because then readers step away thinking this is what the Catholic church is affiliated with and it isn't.

I agree. I feel like belonging to an organization who's views you do not agree with is kind of counterproductive. "Oh, I'm not really racist! I just joined the KKK to make a few friends!" Fucking weird.

Virgin™. But very excited to read this nonetheless.

I've heard a lot of tragic things happen to other people (dead dogs, dead grandmas, "Bank of America foreclosed on my house even though I don't even have a mortgage, this was paid off when I inherited it and has been in the family since 1776")...

But nothing is so tragic than the plaintive sigh of a girl who, during…

Au contraire, there is always at least one 9 volt in the house:

You know my cousin? Yeah, go ahead I guess.

I need to thank your friend for my new handle on everything, which is GroundControl2MajorChrist.

It's true; Avery High School is consistently rated as having one of the highest sex drives in the nation.

Or possibly the greatest letter to the Make A Wish Foundation ever.

Heavy "Dan" representation in the letters this week

Please note that Justin sent me photographic evidence of this study. You do not want to see it.

One man's trash is another man's treasure. Some guys like women who look like Holocaust survivors with silicone softballs bolted onto their chests. Other guys like women who look like Victoria's Secret models. My thing is short, busty, moderately chubby girls (even better with glasses) who are so damn cute you just…

Looks like a tiny penis with gigantic balls to me. :D

That Harlequin on the right did all he could, but the Ticktockman finally got him.