Anyone whining about the “lying waiter”: It’s entirely possible that the waiter was himself lied to about the phony “law” - and if so, it would not surprise me if the establishment he worked for was the one doing the original lying. Of course, that’s if the whole tale is even true, which I seriously doubt. At any…

I’m trying to train my husband to ask me if I want him to fix it, or if I just need to whine about it. He’s always trying to fix things that I just want sympathy about.

But emotional intelligence can be difficult for some people.

I like it. Very Plath.

I, for one, welcome our new rabbit overlords.

She kicks because she cares! To you, that might look like a foot. But to me, it looks like a heart. A toey, xenophobic heart.

I’d call her a cunt, but she lacks the depth and warmth.

Dear God, don’t say that, you’ll make it true...

Ugh, humanity do better.

It's okay, I'm sure Fox News is just dying to hire her.

I know a woman who claims this. She uses it as an excuse to eat Cheetos and drink Coke for breakfast.

Law of averages - given an infinite number of chimps typing an infinite amount of YouTube comments, one of them will eventually be (a) non-racist, (b) funny…

“My kids don’t eat green things”= “My kids won’t eat their vegetables and I’m too shitty of a parent to do anything about it.”

I don’t have any ink, but a young woman I work with does. She self harms a lot. She never, ever, ever cuts where she’s placed a tattoo. Tattoos are, for her, a way of marking herself as valuable and beautiful. Because she is. :)

First thought: Most people seem to have a better impression of me than I do of myself, so no need to mess that up!

My kids go to an international school in Poland - no one beats the rich adults of former Soviet bloc countries for ostentatious awfulness - except their kids.

I’m at a phase in my life where I’m in contact with more truly rich people than ever before - as in, people who are rich and have always been rich and are rich enough that complaining about the cost of private Upper East Side preschools on a lawyer’s salary isn’t ludicrous to them - and I’ve realized it’s not ~just~…

I watched a few episodes of the show last night. Did anyone else love the Titus character? I could happily watch just him and Carol Kane.

This is a story of how one of the worst days of my life ended up reaffirming my faith in strangers and in the human race in general.