Damn, it's good to be rich. If he were a little poorer or a little browner we'd be hearing about "Federal Air Marshals Gun Down Man Over Plane Disturbance".

You missed Bob's Burgers—duh, obviously Tina's a reader.

Good question! There are a whole fuckton of us in this world. "Born-Again Celibate"? "Been There Done That Asexual"? "Already-Paid-My-Dues Grayzone"?

As a seven year old, I raided the kitchen for my art supplies. I took some herbs, green food coloring, lemon juice, and turmeric powder to create this. My dad was so angry at me for destroying the kitchen and geting half the spice cabinet all over the floor, but he took this, and he framed it because he thought it was…

I once ate a decent sized basil plant. Delicious.

Take it from an old(ish) lady who was sexually and physically abused as a kid by family; and who was in a horribly abusive relationship for five years: you are *far* more likely to live happily and come to terms with whatever has happened to you (I don't mean by that that you should or will come to forgive or feel…

As someone who comes from a culture without restaurants, whole wheat, or hazelnuts, I am personally deeply offended at the way my brethren are being mocked just for not understanding the intricacies of American dining practices.

Whaaaaaaaat? No rumpsore comments yet?

You know what else I'm sick of? The people who try to make excuses of any kind of abuse and mistreatment of those with disabilities.

I have a friend who escorted Paul McCartney from his dressing room to the stage at Carnegie Hall. As they stood backstage, he looked at her and said she looked familiar and had they ever met before. In what can only be described as Olympian self-assuredness, she smiled and said, "only in my dreams". His name was…

Wow, that is beautiful!!

Pfff, see if I invite you to my next strip club party, Hermione. (Also: if you ever decide to become a stripper, please use the stage name Andrea Twerkin)

I'm throwing a Super Bowl party on Sunday. I've been busy for a couple of weeks making preparations. I did a cool craft with foam fingers, I rearranged my furniture to fit more people in my living room, I'm making a TON of food. Every one of my guests got a verbal invite from me, and for all any of them will know, I…

Autocorrect on tablets is a bitch!

I don't trust anyone with a coffee habit that they cannot replicate at home.

OH MY GOD THE DOLLAR STACK!! Sadly this is more common than you would think. I've encountered it several times over the years. But only once was I actually able to do anything about it.

What woman- loving man doesn't like to watch a lady polish her pearl? Who is that man and how did he get here from another century?

Here in Brazil we make them both savory and sweet. The flour one like polenta is made as polenta and as corn porridge with sugar and milk; the mid-sized ones called grits ("quirera" here), usually savory and for lunch or dinner; and slightly bigger ones, which we call "canjica", are with sugar, milk, and coconut milk,…

Honestly looking at men like my father and my friends' husbands and other husbands I've met, it really isn't that hard to be better than them. As a whole, they've been setting the bar pretty low.

Learn to cook and don't become one of those husbands who point to menu items and ask their wives "do I like this?" and you should be set. Older women out of long term marriages mostly don't want to bother becoming a nanny/mommy/life coach in their golden years.