LightsOutLockUp
LightsOutLockUp
LightsOutLockUp

WHOA! Holy shit. Withdrawn. Bad at reading today.

I hope that's true.

Comment withdrawn because my eyes betrayed my stupid brain.

Let us rejoice. If a post like this doesn't elicit a single Bugs-Bunny-sawing-Florida-off-the-map .gif, even from a buffoon Deadspin reader, I think we can safely say that the meme is well and truly dead.

Step 10: Fail miserably at steps 1-9. File for bankruptcy.

I wouldn't call anything more safer.

As far as I can tell, there are only two new coinages in this list—muggle and Google. The rest (save "hater," which is an old word with a recently acquired meaning) are nothing more than idiotic portmanteaux.

How the hell is Kornheiser not even given an honorable mention?

If immortality and regenerative health technology are only available to a few, there will be a separation of humans between rich immortal gods—the 1-percent—and the rest of us, poor mortals.

So, status quo?

Goddammit. When I saw the phrase, "professional dipshit," I thought you'd be excoriating Hamilton Nolan.

Silly. The "K" stands for "ketamine." How else do you think he pulled off the threesome?

I know! Too bad it isn't funny.

Oh God. Much worse.

We totally didn't mean to offend anyone with our crass attempt to cash in on a national tragedy!

It would seem they're still living in their own teenage years.

It's so fun to watch Eli & the Giants go supernova and collapse in on themselves, but it's so painful to watch the Cowboys win. I almost did a spit take on that pick-six, though. I lol'd hard. It was beautiful.

His victims.

It's a tour de force of incoherent, half-formed thoughts mixed with stunning linguistic ignorance. There's no hope for this one. Don't waste your time.