Those guys don't need any more stupid ideas. It's all your fault if someone greenlights that movie.

Douches and windbreakers.

Define "coaches."

"I ain't mad at ya."

Cool story, brah. I'm so very impressed with and intimidated by your drunken evening. Glad you decided to brag about it on the Internet like a college freshman.

Given the thorough ball-washing that Al Michaels gave Elway last night, Michaels would probably claim that Elway should take all the credit for those TDs because he's the one who convinced Manning to choose Denver as the scene of his eventual paralysis.

Good for you?

Oh, I get it. "Cutting" edge. *wink*

I love jokes about horrible, tragic suicides as much as the next guy, but...Jesus.

It really is awful, isn't it? Yet for some reason people are always shocked when I express my disdain for the stuff. I don't get it.

Broke-ass college students with no dishes have been making coffee pot ramen for decades.

That's 6.25% sales tax.

ETA: Nevermind. You're right. I think. It's too early for me to do simple math.

Plenty of useless chodes are richer than POTUS, whose salary is decided by the legislature. Nobody wants to be President because of the unrivaled compensation, but you can always write a letter to your congressional representative to let him or her know that, in your humble opinion, the Chief Executive is grossly…

I grew up in the Midwest and was raised in a wacko fundamentalist church that specialized in cowing and shaming the members of its congregation into coughing up at least 10% of their before-tax wages. Sex in all its forms was vilified, and the notion that women should obey and submit to their husbands was heavily…

Stronger? Braver? Badass-er? Sure. Better? No. She took a long swim in the open ocean and survived; she didn't cure cancer.

I don't think I've ever been in a Starbucks and not come out wanting to crucify someone.

If I'd fired them and had any doubts at all, this nutso display would only inure me to that decision. No way I hire or rehire the sort of person to nail himself to a cross in protest.

This seems to suggest that "hook and ladder" is a malapropism of "hook and lateral," and I'd put my money on that being the case.

Nobody said it proves anything.

Who better to dispense insight on high class and fine taste than someone who calls himself Fartknocker?