I couldn’t see it happen.... Our “special relationship” with Britain is too strong for that to ever occur...

On the subject of US allies and our relationship with them, a small part of me hopes that Trump will be the first American president banned from entering the UK. I could ABSOLUTELY see that happening.

Just torrent them like a normal person.

This is literally the directions on the back of every frozen bag of pot-stickers I’ve bought.

That sponge will be a mildew magnet like you would not believe.

I clicked because of the awesome picture, then saw it isn’t mars, commented and left.

While we may not have any hard proof (YET), there is a 0% chance Steve Bannon has never said nigger.

Pro tip: all techs have a stash of screws. Not all of them came from salvaged units. Some were ‘extra’ the manufacturer supplied inside the device for our ‘convenience’ incase one was lost. We remove them from your device to tune and refine the devices balance so you’re less likely to drop it.

Just a reminder...

Future news:
Cleveland browns sign Deer from Facebook video to play middle line backer.

you sound like the neighbor everybody fucking hates

Yeah. The nerve of that guy. Parking stuff in his driveway. Seriously, fuck him. Next thing you know, it won’t be a nice clean white trailer. It’ll be a dirty 15 year old Dodge Caravan with mismatched fender colors. And he will whisper softly to the world: “You let this happen”

How does that make him a dick? It’s his driveway and there’s no HOA. It’s not like he parks it on the street and it’s protruding in front of a neighbor’s house. It’s entirely on his property.

America is going to be great again. The Great Smog, the Great Depression, the Great War... They’re all coming back. It’ll be great.

That’s Ursula.

As much as I prefer the original Schoolhouse Rock, I fear that this version from The Simpsons is much likelier in the next four years:

I was reading a friends Facebook comment the other day where someone stated “this has been written” and they went on a whole thing about religion and how this was supposed to happen. I know they didn’t vote for him and probably wouldn’t have but to see them give up like oh yeah this is in the bible hit me a certain…

I find myself disgusted with my situation here. I find The Dunce repugnant on so many levels, and there was no way I was voting for that bully. But on illegal immigration, I stand in the same ball park as he. I’m over on first base, and he’s in left field, but we’re both here.

I’m reassuring them that in Canada they are safe, period.

Ha, that's funny, because whenever my fiancee texts me back "...", that means that I've done something stupid and better start apologizing.