“You’d do anything for friends, but you wouldn’t do that”?

Seriously, #NotAllFreindlessLosers

How am I supposed to befriend Jacob Wohl? His own eyes look like they don’t get along and decided they needed some space.

For half of these sacks the Washington defense seems genuinely surprised that they were able to just walk right back to Eli.

Grow a Nick Offerman-esque beard and your problems will be solved.

People sometimes say I look like one of two celebrities. One is Jared Kushner and the other is Eli Manning. Should I consider plastic surgery?

Do yourself a favor and open a new tab and start playing Yakety Sax and then come back and view the gifs above. I would have sworn I was already hearing it anyway, but it’s worth the effort.

I think he’s referring to offense, defense, and special teams as three units.

I think it’s a fair assumption, though. I mean, why would you toss away a perfectly good dildo?

Here’s hoping “A new gag” is taken as literally as possible by Buffalo fans.

This is the kinda stat I like to see. Also, Josh Allen has never lost a playoff game, and the Bills have won their last 4 AFC title games.

I don’t appreciate you belittling that referee, Norwood he.

Skimming the first sentence, I thought you were referring to the dildos themselves as “well-worn”. I was like, man, if you can see that level of detail, I gotta get me one of those 4K HD TVs.

+XXV centimeters of disappointment

Immediately after the game, a representative from the Football Hall of Fame asked the ref if they could enshrine the the only known shoe to ever kick Roger Goodell.

“....three separate dildos made their way onto the playing surface during last night’s game against the Patriots.”

I think I have an old VHS of Time For The Dildo-Tossers To Get A New Gag IV in a drawer somewhere.

Tom Brady may be 29-3 against the Bills, but he’s never beaten them in the playoffs.

You know it's a Buffalo dildo because they all curve to the right.

That’s a quote from Jim Tomsula’s book: Frugality on a Budget