That's exactly where my own insecurities would lie: "too fat to be sexy." I guess it's an equal-opportunity world for body-shaming out there.

My college has a weirdo annual tradition where a small group of students get naked, paint themselves blue, and run around campus. I joined them happily, but noticed that the larger-breasted women quickly slowed their run to a sedate walk in a cluster at the back of the group. You would have to be much higher than any…

Right, totally, but high fashion never pretends to be above sex interest, right? I see it as more of a taste/class/connoisseurship issue: the tacky masses (Walmart, Playboy, cheap hookers) think that fleshy bodies are sexy, but we elite fashion people know that only a very thin body is sexy and can wear clothes…

In my two pregnancies, thank God no stranger has ever touched my belly. But I definitely do feel like people are staring at me (I'm 7 months and pretty huge). I understand why: pregnany women catch the eye and are a funny shape, but it gets tiresome. And you definitely feel like people are watching what you do. I was…

Yeah, I think that's what I was thinking about: a "perfect" thin body can be a sexless body. It's just so weird that this person can shout "fat = whore!" when so often women who are actually fat are percieved as sexless losers, too. And I agree: the self-hatred in this person's voice is truly sad, and disordered.

I feel like before I had my first, I got plenty of "real talk" about labor and delivery ("OMG YOU POOP ON THE TABLE!") but NO ONE ever told me how hard breastfeeding was. And like I said, I had it "easy": produced a ton, actually overproduced so I was constantly engorged and squirting everywhere. And my son was a…

I read the screencap page (which I do not recommend if you are fragile about your body image at all; it's nuts) and it's really weird that the author makes repeated connections between weight (what s/he considers "overweight") and sexuality — calls Upton's body "pornographic" and "vulgar," suggests that she looks like…

Ooh, you are so lucky to have people to borrow clothes from! All the women I know locally who have been pregnant in the last five years are tiny. My sister, who is 5' and about 100 lbs, actually tried to convince me that her maternity clothes might fit me. Since I weigh double that now, thanks, you're sweet but that…

Oh totally. It's NATURAL! Nothing natural could ever hurt or be gross!

The good news is that the affection does come eventually. After a couple months they give lots of feedback and cuddles, which is good because it prevents you from exposing them while they continue to be exasperating and painful.

This is the greatest honor of my life. :)

Tip for sleeping in heat: wring your nightgown or t-shirt out of water, put it on, and lie down. The evaporation makes you feel cooler, although this does work better with a fan or a breeze of some kind. You could also use a whole wet top sheet although I've never been that desparate.

I'm not sure how common this is, but letdown hurt me intensely for at least the first three months. It was this indescribable sort of intense achy titty-twister feeling. Once the letdown stopped hurting, my son started cutting teeth and experimenting with chewing on my nips. I held on for 6-8 months and felt like a…

OMG YES. I just finished a slice of homemade pizza topped with red peppers, jarred grilled artichoke hearts, black olives (all I had) and Manchego. It was glorious!

Any of that! And I was actually lucky to be very good at breastfeeding, produced a ton and didn't have any horrible cracked nipples or mastitis. You just cry a lot about everything because of hormones. Right after I had my son there was this Mothers Day commercial that made me lose my shit like every hour.

He'll be in good company.

Seriously! I'm broke and I paid $9 for a chunk of Manchego that was far less than a pound the other day. I regret nothing!

Not to mention the fun range of sizes you cycle through in pregnancy/breastfeeding/recovery and weight loss/pregnant again. I'm on my second pregnancy, my first child is 3, and I feel like I haven't worn the same size in any consecutive six months for the past four years. I have four sizes of bras in my drawer. Last…

Yeah, when I shop at local thrift stores in my not-very-cool suburban area, I get a wide selection of mall clothes from 10 years ago. Ooh, Contempo Casuals and 5-7-9! Old enough to be embarrasingly dated to wear; not old enough to qualify as "vintage" (I guess if you're 19 you can consider clothes from 1992 to be…

Texting while you're breastfeeding is not going to make you tense. It's going to make you feel slightly more connected to the rest of humanity and slightly less like a milk-covered sweaty captive beast who is milked every hour for two months by an incredibly cruel and demanding tiny master who gives you no affection…